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jeshyrThere's this dream ... Ever since I got sick I've dreamed it - twenty years of this same bloody dream. I dream that I'm with a group of friends but I can't keep up with them. They walk faster than I can, pulling away progressively, and I try as hard as I can to keep up ... But I can't speed up and I can't call out.
The details vary - sometimes it's high school friends, sometimes folk from university. Sometimes I can't open my mouth to speak, sometimes I can call out but there's no sound. It's like I'm struggling to move through treacle, or tar - I can, with utmost effort, move a little but I am left further and further behind. Having some ability to go forward though gives me the illusion that if I just tried hard enough I could somehow catch up.
Most times nobody looks back, sometimes someone looks back but they don't see me. They never seem to notice my absence - they never look for me or wait for me or come back for me.
Always I am left struggling, alone and unseen and unmissed.
I really hate that dream.
R
PS
I *am* fine.
Well ok, I am maudlin tonight but probably because I'm so physically and emotionally exhausted right now - that's pretty standard for me. I'll feel better in the morning after a hopefully decent nights sleep. There's nothing wrong or anything so don't panic ok?
The details vary - sometimes it's high school friends, sometimes folk from university. Sometimes I can't open my mouth to speak, sometimes I can call out but there's no sound. It's like I'm struggling to move through treacle, or tar - I can, with utmost effort, move a little but I am left further and further behind. Having some ability to go forward though gives me the illusion that if I just tried hard enough I could somehow catch up.
Most times nobody looks back, sometimes someone looks back but they don't see me. They never seem to notice my absence - they never look for me or wait for me or come back for me.
Always I am left struggling, alone and unseen and unmissed.
I really hate that dream.
R
PS
I *am* fine.
Well ok, I am maudlin tonight but probably because I'm so physically and emotionally exhausted right now - that's pretty standard for me. I'll feel better in the morning after a hopefully decent nights sleep. There's nothing wrong or anything so don't panic ok?
no subject
Date: 2014-03-14 12:17 pm (UTC)