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Me: "Did you see anyone putting this bag here?"
Passenger: "It's my bag."
Me: "You're supposed to put it under the seat in front of you."
Passenger: "Oh, I know, but then it gets in the way of my legs. So, I'll leave it where it is, so it's your problem now."
notalwaysright_feedRead Giving Mom An Assist
We're visiting my grandparents in an assisted living facility. My family is prone to dark humor, but we also need to temper my mom's expectations of how she's planning on relying on us when she gets older.
Me: "Some day, I'll visit bring my kids to visit you here!"
Mom: "Don't say that! I'll live with you, or [Brother]!"
Read Giving Mom An Assist
notalwaysright_feedRead In A Platonic Relationship With Hygiene
Me: "[Roommate], come on! The dishes have been there all day! If I come out one more time and see them dirty again…"
Roommate: "If I don’t do the dishes, they can’t get dirty again."
notalwaysright_feedRead The Detergent Price Deterrent
Customer: "The dishwasher detergent is the wrong price. The coupon was for $2.50 total price!"
I had not put the coupon in my till yet, so I showed him.
Me: "Sir, it was $2.50 off the detergent."
notalwaysright_feedThe rest of the family is out for late night dinner. Noted, I like to sleep early because need to woke up early. My little sister (paralegal) & Me (Accountant) were at home together and this interaction took place one evening. little sister : Hey, sis can you help me with something. me: No, I’m […]
notalwaysright_feed*I randomly get a check in the mail that has the name of my dentist office on it, as well as what I figure out is other dental offices/groups in their “network”. I didn’t get anything that said a check was coming, so I’m wary about it and call my dentist’s office.* Receptionist #1: Thank […]
notalwaysright_feed*There’s a fast food place near my apartment that I will occasionally stop at, especially if I’ve been out and really just don’t want to cook anything. I got into the habit of asking for extra condiments at the window because the couple of times I tried at the speaker, they always either forgot or […]
notalwaysright_feedFor better or for worse, over the past few months I’ve reduced my shaving frequency from twice a week to once per quarter. It’s pure laziness: I used to shave (nice safety razor and all, good soap, classic style) when my daughters would shower, but since they’ve grown and shower expressly alone I lost that […]
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torachan
notalwaysright_feedRead The Store Closes At Ten And Goes Up To Eleven
Customer: *Shouting over the music.* "Turn off this devil music!"
Manager: "Sorry, sir, this is the music the cleaners like to listen to when the store closes and the customers have left."
troisoiseauxnotalwaysright_feedRead Timestamped Temper Tantrums
Customer: "Oh my god! I've been waiting here for ten minutes, and I've been completely ignored! I deserve to be compensated for my time!"
Me: "Oh, absolutely. I'll double-check the timestamp on the CCTV for you! If it's been ten minutes, we'll absolutely compensate you."
notalwaysright_feedRead Tech Support Rapport
Coworker: "Can you just do this simple thing? It'll be five minutes, tops."
Me: "Pretty busy right now, either schedule it in or wait a few hours?"
Coworker: "But it's easy."
Me: "...then you do it."
Read Tech Support Rapport
notalwaysright_feedRead I Work Like A Clockwork Orange
Next Customer: "Hey! No fair! It's ten items or less!"
Current Customer: "Yeah, and I only have ten items."
Next Customer: "There are, like, six oranges in that bag!"
notalwaysright_feedRead Not The Day To Be Serving Cold Cuts
I call my boss and explain that I will be going to the hospital.
Boss: "And how are you getting to the hospital?"
Me: "I'm driving?"
Boss: "That's what I thought. It's the first day of winter break, so we're gonna be packed. No call-outs. If you're capable of driving to the hospital, then you're capable of driving to work."
notalwaysright_feedRead No Change, No Chance
Clerk: "Sorry, sir, I don't have the change anymore to break that one, a bunch of others came in with 100s and my change ran dry; maybe you got a tenner or so?"
Jerk: "Hmph! Why is that my problem? Here's the €100 bill, and you hand me €92 back, how is this hard?"
Clerk: "Well, mostly because I don't have €92 in my register."
Read No Change, No Chance
