emotional support spinning
Nov. 24th, 2025 09:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yhlee
I'm informed this is a 1981 Ashford Traditional. I pounced on the secondhand listing as spinning wheels in working order (especially modern-ish wheels) are very scarce in my region, especially at a low price point. She's in incredibly good condition and spins beautifully! She's my first Saxony wheel, to go with the Ashford Traveller. I'm also told the bobbins ought to be inter-compatible (I have bobbins for both the larger and smaller flyers).
The pink-magenta is IxChel's North Ronaldsay blend (North Ronaldsay Sheep 40%, Blue Faced Leicester 30%, Silver infused Seaweed 10%, Mulberry Silk 10%, Cashmere 10%).
Various Links, lots of politics. Some time-sensative actions. Fun stuff at the end.
Nov. 24th, 2025 11:50 ammuccamukkMooooooost of the politics mentioned are Canadian, a couple U.S. links in there.
Anti-Trans Bull Shit in Alberta
Stop Smith: Danielle Smith wants to take our rights and freedoms away. Help push back..
A petition.
Momentum: Join our mass organizing call on Wednesday, November 26th to help us turn the tide and stop Danielle Smith's assault on freedom, rights and trans kids..
Organising calls for both Alberta and elsewhere.
( Putting the context behind a cut. Anti-trans violence discussed )
Other Canadian Politics Stuff I'm Mad About:
Most of these are from leftist rags, because other news sources make me tired, y'all. Just posting links. ( Cut for CanPol Fuckery )
Miscellaneous. Kinda Downer Stuff?
![[youtube.com profile]](https://youtube.com/favicon.ico)
caelanconrad: ChatGPT Kіlled Again - Four more Dеad (Video: 42min).
Ban. It. Ban it now. What the fuck!?
Dromline: When Your Favourite Author is Dead to You.
About Neil Gaiman, who the author was a lot more attached to than I ever was. Interviews Nalo Hopkinson and Tara Prescott-Johnson!
The Tyee: The Librarians Traces the Battle of a Lifetime.
Review of a documentary about book bans in Texas.
Miscellaneous. Not Completely Horrible Stuff?
Everyday Feminism: 8 Critical Things to Remember When Booking a Trans Performer.
Both funny and containing alarming examples from Kai and Ivan's lives.
Trauma Rewired: Self Compassion and How The Science of Kindness Changes Your Brain (Audio: 50min).
I find Dr. Kristin Neff's stuff helpful, though I know millage varies.
The Comics Journal: Talking Oglaf with Trudy Cooper and Doug Bayne: "We’d stay up all night drawing stuff to make each other laugh".
Really fun interview!
Anti-Trans Bull Shit in Alberta
Stop Smith: Danielle Smith wants to take our rights and freedoms away. Help push back..
A petition.
Momentum: Join our mass organizing call on Wednesday, November 26th to help us turn the tide and stop Danielle Smith's assault on freedom, rights and trans kids..
Organising calls for both Alberta and elsewhere.
( Putting the context behind a cut. Anti-trans violence discussed )
Other Canadian Politics Stuff I'm Mad About:
Most of these are from leftist rags, because other news sources make me tired, y'all. Just posting links. ( Cut for CanPol Fuckery )
Miscellaneous. Kinda Downer Stuff?
Ban. It. Ban it now. What the fuck!?
Dromline: When Your Favourite Author is Dead to You.
About Neil Gaiman, who the author was a lot more attached to than I ever was. Interviews Nalo Hopkinson and Tara Prescott-Johnson!
The Tyee: The Librarians Traces the Battle of a Lifetime.
Review of a documentary about book bans in Texas.
Miscellaneous. Not Completely Horrible Stuff?
Everyday Feminism: 8 Critical Things to Remember When Booking a Trans Performer.
Both funny and containing alarming examples from Kai and Ivan's lives.
Trauma Rewired: Self Compassion and How The Science of Kindness Changes Your Brain (Audio: 50min).
I find Dr. Kristin Neff's stuff helpful, though I know millage varies.
The Comics Journal: Talking Oglaf with Trudy Cooper and Doug Bayne: "We’d stay up all night drawing stuff to make each other laugh".
Really fun interview!
Discombobulation and dreamstuff
Nov. 24th, 2025 02:58 pmumadoshiI complain sometimes about time and the surreality of the passage thereof and whatnot, but this morning I had several minutes of genuinely wondering if the way the year is barreling toward its end meant the first Sunday of Advent had already passed without my even noticing. I'm not sure if something about the timing of US Thanksgiving threw me off, or if it's as simple as my not having put "Advent begins" on my calendar, which I think I usually note in advance. (In practical terms it'd be fine; as it happens, I'm planning to use a "burn a bit every day of December" Advent candle, which probably means not breaking out the wreath for the four Sundays. But still.)
I often have weird dreams and don't usually remember much about them, but until today I'm not sure I'd ever before woken up from a dream where I was watching a movie? In the case of this dream, I was at the theatre watching what was officially a Newsflesh film adaptation, but in the sense that (from what I know of it, never having seen it) the World War Z movie is based on that book, which is to say, really not at all. ("Lead" characters who were supposed to be Georgia and Shaun, yes, but nothing to do with [*checks notes*] characters-as-people, zombies, viruses, or politics, and possibly not journalism, either. I think there was some sort of lab creating humanoid/animal mixes of some sort, possibly giving them guns.) It went on for quite some time.
My dream-self was appalled, of course, but at least glad to think Seanan had presumably gotten a decent chunk of money for the rights. She's got cats to feed!
I often have weird dreams and don't usually remember much about them, but until today I'm not sure I'd ever before woken up from a dream where I was watching a movie? In the case of this dream, I was at the theatre watching what was officially a Newsflesh film adaptation, but in the sense that (from what I know of it, never having seen it) the World War Z movie is based on that book, which is to say, really not at all. ("Lead" characters who were supposed to be Georgia and Shaun, yes, but nothing to do with [*checks notes*] characters-as-people, zombies, viruses, or politics, and possibly not journalism, either. I think there was some sort of lab creating humanoid/animal mixes of some sort, possibly giving them guns.) It went on for quite some time.
My dream-self was appalled, of course, but at least glad to think Seanan had presumably gotten a decent chunk of money for the rights. She's got cats to feed!
Updates to “No Fandom” Additional Tags, November 2025
Nov. 24th, 2025 04:50 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
otw_news_feedAO3 Tag Wranglers continue to test processes for wrangling canonical additional tags (tags that appear in the auto-complete) which don’t belong to any particular fandom (also known as “No Fandom” tags). This post overviews some of these upcoming changes.
In this round of updates, we continued to streamline creating new canonical tags, prioritizing more straightforward updates which would have less discussion compared to renaming current canonical tags or creating new canonical tags which touch on more complex topics. This method also reviews new tags on a regular basis, so check back on AO3 News for periodic “No Fandom” tag announcements.
None of these updates change the tags users have added to works. If a user-created tag is considered to have the same meaning as a new canonical, it will be made a synonym of one of these newly created canonical tags, and works with that user-created tag will appear when the canonical tag is selected.
In short, these changes only affect which tags appear in AO3’s auto-complete and filters. You can and should continue to tag your works however you prefer.
New Canonicals
The following concepts have been made new canonical tags:
- Alternate Universe – Cakeverse | Cake and Fork
- Best Friends to Lovers
- Friends to Strangers to Lovers
- Lovers to Strangers
- Broken Ribs
- Canon-Typical Incest
- Consensual Incest
- CFNF | Clothed Female Naked Female
- CMNM | Clothed Male Naked Male
- Characters with Two Penises
- Hemipenes
- Choking Kink
- Fleshlights
- Group Chats
- Honeypot Missions
- Identity Crisis
- Impalement
- Implied/Referenced Breeding Kink
- Impostor Syndrome
- Just the Tip
- Lavender Marriages
- Mating Cycles/In Rut
- Meet-Ugly
- No Character Bashing
- NTR | Netorare
- Older Bottom Characters
- Younger Top Characters
- Younger Top Characters/Older Bottom Characters
- Pacifiers
- Parentification
- Screen Reader Friendly
- Talking About Feelings
- Tragic Backstory
In Conclusion
While some of these tags may be tags and concepts you’re intimately familiar with, others may be concepts you’ve never heard of before. Fortunately, our fellow OTW volunteers at Fanlore may be able to help! As you may have seen in the comments sections of previous posts, Fanlore is a fantastic resource for learning more about these common fandom concepts, and about the history and lore of fandom in general. For the curious, here’s a quick look at a few articles about concepts related to this month’s new canonical tags:
While we won’t be announcing every change we make to No Fandom canonical tags, you can expect similar updates in the future about tags we believe will most affect users. If you’re interested in the changes we’ll be making, you can continue to check AO3 News or follow us on Bluesky @wranglers.archiveofourown.org or Tumblr @ao3org for future announcements.
You can also read previous updates on “No Fandom” tags as well as other wrangling updates, linked below:
- Past “No Fandom” Additional Tags Updates & 5 Things Said by Wrangling Volunteers
- Past Fandom-Specific and “No Fandom” Tag Wrangling Change Posts & Announcements
For more information about AO3’s tag system, check out our Tags FAQ.
In addition to providing technical help, AO3 Support also handles requests related to how tags are sorted and connected. If you have questions about specific tags, which were first used over a month ago and are unrelated to any of the new canonical tags listed above, please contact Support instead of leaving a comment on this post.
Please keep in mind that discussions about what tags to canonize and what format they should take are ongoing. As a result, not all related concepts will be canonized at the same time. This does not mean that related or similar concepts will not be canonized in the future or that we have chosen to canonize one specific concept in lieu of another, simply that we likely either haven’t gotten to that related concept yet or that it needs further discussion and will take a bit longer for us to canonize it as a result. We appreciate your patience and understanding.
Lastly, we’re still working on implementing changes and connecting relevant user-created tags to these new canonicals, so it’ll be some time before these updates are complete. If you have questions about specific tags which should be connected to these new canonicals, please refrain from contacting Support about them until at least two months from now to give us adequate time to do so.
Tags:
Orange
Nov. 24th, 2025 11:14 ammarycatelli posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
booksOrange by Ichigo Takano
This is available in five volumes, and also in two omnibus editions (the second included a backstory which I didn't get into), but it reads as one story.
It opens with Naho receiving a letter. It says it's from her future self, that a new boy will arrive in class and sit beside her, and she must not ask him to walk home, because he's no longer with them in the future.
Not knowing what to believe, she joins with her friends in asking
( Read more... )
This is available in five volumes, and also in two omnibus editions (the second included a backstory which I didn't get into), but it reads as one story.
It opens with Naho receiving a letter. It says it's from her future self, that a new boy will arrive in class and sit beside her, and she must not ask him to walk home, because he's no longer with them in the future.
Not knowing what to believe, she joins with her friends in asking
( Read more... )
(no subject)
Nov. 23rd, 2025 07:13 pmconuly posting in agonyauntDear Care and Feeding,
I’m 19 and in university. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, “Jason.” He’d been acting weird for a few weeks, but when I ended things, he completely flipped out.
It escalated to the point where he slipped into my family’s home, stole our cat, “Flibble,” and tried to hold him for ransom. We did get Flibble back, and Jason is now facing charges. I just want to put this all behind me.
My parents, however, are furious. They keep telling me I should “have better judgment” and promise I’m going to get an earful this Thanksgiving about “choosing appropriate partners.” I get it, this got bad. But Jason wasn’t showing signs of being unhinged when we first started dating, and I did break up with him as soon as he started acting erratically. Still, my parents chew me out every time we talk and have started calling two or three times a week specifically to lecture me.
It’s driving me crazy. I don’t want to block them or cut them out of my life, but I also don’t want to deal with this anymore. What can I do to get them to lay off?
—Stepped In It
( Read more... )
I’m 19 and in university. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, “Jason.” He’d been acting weird for a few weeks, but when I ended things, he completely flipped out.
It escalated to the point where he slipped into my family’s home, stole our cat, “Flibble,” and tried to hold him for ransom. We did get Flibble back, and Jason is now facing charges. I just want to put this all behind me.
My parents, however, are furious. They keep telling me I should “have better judgment” and promise I’m going to get an earful this Thanksgiving about “choosing appropriate partners.” I get it, this got bad. But Jason wasn’t showing signs of being unhinged when we first started dating, and I did break up with him as soon as he started acting erratically. Still, my parents chew me out every time we talk and have started calling two or three times a week specifically to lecture me.
It’s driving me crazy. I don’t want to block them or cut them out of my life, but I also don’t want to deal with this anymore. What can I do to get them to lay off?
—Stepped In It
( Read more... )
(no subject)
Nov. 23rd, 2025 07:03 pmconuly posting in agonyauntDear Meghan: I have an 8-year-old daughter. She does not have a mother (my husband and I are both men). She doesn’t particularly like shopping for clothes, but she has a relative who keeps her very well stocked with jumpsuits, dresses and girly outfits of all kinds, which is the type of clothing she typically likes. In general, I let her decide for herself how to mix and match the various clothes she has each morning and will only step in if something is really inappropriate.
My mother, however, feels the need to criticize her clothing choices nearly every time she sees her. “Oh dear, you should never mix prints!” or “Why didn’t you wear a different shirt under that jumpsuit — it really doesn’t match at all!” My mother blames me for what she sees as my inability to teach a girl about girls’ fashion.
I told her that I had indeed talked about some of these rules, but I thought my daughter should also be able to make her own choices about how to dress. She then accused me of being a bad parent and suggested that I would also “give up” if faced with a child who stole or cheated on a test. Is it really so wrong to refuse to have a daily struggle because my daughter went to school with shorts that lightly clashed with her shirt?
— Grandma’s Criticisms
( Read more... )
My mother, however, feels the need to criticize her clothing choices nearly every time she sees her. “Oh dear, you should never mix prints!” or “Why didn’t you wear a different shirt under that jumpsuit — it really doesn’t match at all!” My mother blames me for what she sees as my inability to teach a girl about girls’ fashion.
I told her that I had indeed talked about some of these rules, but I thought my daughter should also be able to make her own choices about how to dress. She then accused me of being a bad parent and suggested that I would also “give up” if faced with a child who stole or cheated on a test. Is it really so wrong to refuse to have a daily struggle because my daughter went to school with shorts that lightly clashed with her shirt?
— Grandma’s Criticisms
( Read more... )
(no subject)
Nov. 23rd, 2025 06:59 pmconuly posting in agonyauntDear Meghan: My sons (5 and 6 years old, both mildly autistic) tend to wake up in the morning and as fast as they can dive into my husband’s and my bed for cuddles. They seem to get a lot of sensory satisfaction and a lot of comfort from this ritual. Their preference would be to cuddle with me or both of us for about 15 minutes until they’re all the way awake, then run off and do their own thing. I don’t mind this at all — I enjoy it somewhat, and I find that (as primary caretaker) their days and thus mine go much smoother if they have this cuddle in bed to start the day.
The problem is that my husband says it ruins his day to have his kids in his bed at all.
I have tried to be a physical barrier between him and them — doesn’t work. I’ve tried to not let them in until he’s already up and showering — doesn’t work. I’ve tried to go to their beds and cuddle them there — doesn’t work. I’m out of ideas.
What should I do?
( Read more... )
The problem is that my husband says it ruins his day to have his kids in his bed at all.
I have tried to be a physical barrier between him and them — doesn’t work. I’ve tried to not let them in until he’s already up and showering — doesn’t work. I’ve tried to go to their beds and cuddle them there — doesn’t work. I’m out of ideas.
What should I do?
( Read more... )
Locked Tomb AUs & A Wind in the Door
Nov. 23rd, 2025 04:00 pmpetraI'm postulating the necro/cav AUs again, so I still might throw that AU fest, Locked Tomb fans. There's no release date on Alecto as of this writing, so that's not a useful target. But if instead I aimed for a y'all-come-create fest to release on May Day, as the opposite cross-quarter day from Halloween, that might work.
Postulate with me! Anyone who has a clever idea for a fest name is welcome, or a pair they want to see do this dance, or anything.
*
You know it's a good day when you get to use the phrase, "L'Engle-accurate cherubim."
Angels, shmangels -- I want Progo withblue hair and pronouns.
Postulate with me! Anyone who has a clever idea for a fest name is welcome, or a pair they want to see do this dance, or anything.
*
You know it's a good day when you get to use the phrase, "L'Engle-accurate cherubim."
Angels, shmangels -- I want Progo with
Weekly proof of life: reading | foodstuff | impending appliance shopping (>.<)
Nov. 23rd, 2025 04:07 pmumadoshiReading: I finished August Clarke's Metal from Heaven (really good, with gorgeous writing) and read Into the Broken Lands, which was my first Tanya Huff book in...probably a couple of decades, honestly. Also really good. (I have a bonus soft spot for her because she was GoH at the local SFF con one year when I went in high school.)
Currently reading: Rebecca Mahoney's The Memory Eater.
Andscruloose and I are close enough to the end of Network Effect that we could probably finish it tonight if we really tried; annoyingly, it's due back at something like 6 PM today, and we can't get it finished by then, so we're gonna have to renew it. >.<
Cooking/Baking: I mentioned having apples we needed to bake with early in the month, and what we wound up going with was the Easiest Ever MOIST Apple Cake from RecipeTin eats, chosen in large part based on our available springform pans. It's tasty (we took the last pieces out to thaw for this evening), but I can't say "moist" is one of the first words it brings to mind. (It's not dry or anything, just...a perfectly pleasantly-textured cake.)
Tonight's dinner plan is Smitten Kitchen's Roast Chicken with Schmaltzy Cabbage. (It calls for a green cabbage and we have a Savoy, but hopefully that'll be okay.) Last weekend when we were out erranding we bought said cabbage, some carrots, and some broccoli (all still in the fridge), and some spring mix (fortunately not still in the fridge), but then we had a HelloFresh box to get through.
Buying vegetables is presumably the first step to actually cooking them, and I made sure to at least mostly choose some that would last a while. >.> The Bee Wilson book I mentioned recently has a section specifically on learning/practicing different cooking techniques with carrots, so I'm hoping to actually make use of the bag of carrots with my own hands. We'll see how that goes.
Householding: The upright freezer in the garage has been making unhappy noises and needing to be poked at periodically to keep it running. Time to get a new one, I guess. >.< Everyone loves appliance shopping!
Currently reading: Rebecca Mahoney's The Memory Eater.
And
scruloose and I are close enough to the end of Network Effect that we could probably finish it tonight if we really tried; annoyingly, it's due back at something like 6 PM today, and we can't get it finished by then, so we're gonna have to renew it. >.<Cooking/Baking: I mentioned having apples we needed to bake with early in the month, and what we wound up going with was the Easiest Ever MOIST Apple Cake from RecipeTin eats, chosen in large part based on our available springform pans. It's tasty (we took the last pieces out to thaw for this evening), but I can't say "moist" is one of the first words it brings to mind. (It's not dry or anything, just...a perfectly pleasantly-textured cake.)
Tonight's dinner plan is Smitten Kitchen's Roast Chicken with Schmaltzy Cabbage. (It calls for a green cabbage and we have a Savoy, but hopefully that'll be okay.) Last weekend when we were out erranding we bought said cabbage, some carrots, and some broccoli (all still in the fridge), and some spring mix (fortunately not still in the fridge), but then we had a HelloFresh box to get through.
Buying vegetables is presumably the first step to actually cooking them, and I made sure to at least mostly choose some that would last a while. >.> The Bee Wilson book I mentioned recently has a section specifically on learning/practicing different cooking techniques with carrots, so I'm hoping to actually make use of the bag of carrots with my own hands. We'll see how that goes.
Householding: The upright freezer in the garage has been making unhappy noises and needing to be poked at periodically to keep it running. Time to get a new one, I guess. >.< Everyone loves appliance shopping!
Inlaws....
Nov. 23rd, 2025 03:37 amconuly posting in agonyaunt1. When I say goodbye to my mother-in-law, she frequently traps me in extended hugs. They often last longer than 15 seconds! During these hugs, she rattles off compliments that are probably well-meaning, but which I take as insults: She’s grateful that I’m a good cook for my husband, for instance, and that I keep our house so clean. My husband and I are both working professionals. We split the housework evenly, and I’m proud of that. My husband says that his mother’s comments are just her way of trying to connect with me. But is there a way to dodge her hugs? That’s when the so-called compliments begin.
DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
( Read more... )
****
2. Dear Carolyn: We are a very small family — just me, my older sister and my parents. Five years ago, my sister married into a very large family, and her in-laws host all the holidays. We’re always invited, but it’s never any fun for us. There are 20 of them together, talking and laughing, and me and my parents in the corner by ourselves.
I’ve honestly tried to join in, but they’re always talking among themselves about people I don’t know. I ask them about their lives, and they go on and on, but when it’s time for me to talk, I get either cut off or ignored. They try to be nice, but after the third or fourth attempt to answer a question, you can tell they don’t care about the answer.
So I’ve decided I’m not going for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. On Thanksgiving, some of my friends are meeting up for a hike in the morning, and then there’s a pub crawl later in the evening, and that’s enough holiday for me. I can order a pizza for dinner. For Christmas, I plan to have breakfast with my parents, open gifts and then kick back for the rest of the day while they go off to my sister’s in-laws’ house.
Even though my parents agree about the in-laws, they are telling me to suck it up and go for their sake. They and my sister are really upset with me, saying I’m going to ruin their holidays, hurt my brother-in-law’s feelings and not see my niece. I say there will be so many people around that my brother-in-law and niece won’t miss me, and I’ll see them both on Black Friday and then again on Christmas Eve, so it’s not like I’m missing out entirely.
Am I being selfish like they say? Don’t I have a right to enjoy my holidays, or do I have to suffer in silence?
— Anonymous
( Read more... )
*************
3. Dear Annie: My son got married about eight months ago, and while I truly do love his new wife, I admit I'm scratching my head over a few things. Maybe it's the times changing, or maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but it feels like I got a fourth child instead of a daughter-in-law.
When they come over for dinner, I do what I've always done: make a nice meal, fix everyone a plate and pass the rolls. I'll serve my husband, my boys and even the dog if he looks hungry enough. But my new daughter-in-law? She piles food on her own plate, sits down and tells my son to get it himself. My jaw nearly hit the mashed potatoes. He works all day to provide for her, and the least she could do is hand him a pork chop! Instead, I find myself jumping up to fix his plate while she's scrolling through her phone.
And the laundry, don't even get me started. Because they don't have a washer and dryer, she brings her clothes over, and somehow, I end up doing them. It's like my son got married, and I gained another load of towels.
Should I speak up, or just keep folding her laundry and praying she buys a washing machine? -- Lost For Words in Georgia
( Read more... )
**********
4. Dear Annie: Hoping you can offer some advice! My son has been married for six years to a beautiful girl who rarely speaks to us and acts as though we don't exist. Her distance has gotten much worse over time, and we have no idea why. We love her and are just as kind to her as we are to our other kids and their wives. My husband and I are so sad. This has broken our hearts.
We haven't said anything because we don't want to upset our son, but lately even he appears unhappy with her attitude toward us. When we've referred to her as our daughter -- as we do our other daughter-in-law, who loves the title -- she'll say, "No, thank you. I already have a mom and dad." We've always felt as parents ourselves that you can NEVER have too many people to love your child, so we were quite hurt by that.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. She's so cold and distant toward us that even our friends and family have noticed and commented. We are good people, we stay out of our kids' business and we keep our opinions to ourselves. Our motto is, "If you want our thoughts, you'll have to ask for them." We don't meddle or cause waves ever, yet she continues to find ways to fault us for things. It's completely unsubstantiated, but it persists!
It's to the point I have so much anxiety that I've considered seeking out a therapist. This DIL is so unapproachable, so to avoid conflict, we just sweep EVERYTHING under the rug to avoid causing our sweet son any grief.
Please let us know if you have any advice. Our hearts are broken! -- Boy Momma
( Read more... )
DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
( Read more... )
2. Dear Carolyn: We are a very small family — just me, my older sister and my parents. Five years ago, my sister married into a very large family, and her in-laws host all the holidays. We’re always invited, but it’s never any fun for us. There are 20 of them together, talking and laughing, and me and my parents in the corner by ourselves.
I’ve honestly tried to join in, but they’re always talking among themselves about people I don’t know. I ask them about their lives, and they go on and on, but when it’s time for me to talk, I get either cut off or ignored. They try to be nice, but after the third or fourth attempt to answer a question, you can tell they don’t care about the answer.
So I’ve decided I’m not going for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. On Thanksgiving, some of my friends are meeting up for a hike in the morning, and then there’s a pub crawl later in the evening, and that’s enough holiday for me. I can order a pizza for dinner. For Christmas, I plan to have breakfast with my parents, open gifts and then kick back for the rest of the day while they go off to my sister’s in-laws’ house.
Even though my parents agree about the in-laws, they are telling me to suck it up and go for their sake. They and my sister are really upset with me, saying I’m going to ruin their holidays, hurt my brother-in-law’s feelings and not see my niece. I say there will be so many people around that my brother-in-law and niece won’t miss me, and I’ll see them both on Black Friday and then again on Christmas Eve, so it’s not like I’m missing out entirely.
Am I being selfish like they say? Don’t I have a right to enjoy my holidays, or do I have to suffer in silence?
— Anonymous
( Read more... )
3. Dear Annie: My son got married about eight months ago, and while I truly do love his new wife, I admit I'm scratching my head over a few things. Maybe it's the times changing, or maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but it feels like I got a fourth child instead of a daughter-in-law.
When they come over for dinner, I do what I've always done: make a nice meal, fix everyone a plate and pass the rolls. I'll serve my husband, my boys and even the dog if he looks hungry enough. But my new daughter-in-law? She piles food on her own plate, sits down and tells my son to get it himself. My jaw nearly hit the mashed potatoes. He works all day to provide for her, and the least she could do is hand him a pork chop! Instead, I find myself jumping up to fix his plate while she's scrolling through her phone.
And the laundry, don't even get me started. Because they don't have a washer and dryer, she brings her clothes over, and somehow, I end up doing them. It's like my son got married, and I gained another load of towels.
Should I speak up, or just keep folding her laundry and praying she buys a washing machine? -- Lost For Words in Georgia
( Read more... )
4. Dear Annie: Hoping you can offer some advice! My son has been married for six years to a beautiful girl who rarely speaks to us and acts as though we don't exist. Her distance has gotten much worse over time, and we have no idea why. We love her and are just as kind to her as we are to our other kids and their wives. My husband and I are so sad. This has broken our hearts.
We haven't said anything because we don't want to upset our son, but lately even he appears unhappy with her attitude toward us. When we've referred to her as our daughter -- as we do our other daughter-in-law, who loves the title -- she'll say, "No, thank you. I already have a mom and dad." We've always felt as parents ourselves that you can NEVER have too many people to love your child, so we were quite hurt by that.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. She's so cold and distant toward us that even our friends and family have noticed and commented. We are good people, we stay out of our kids' business and we keep our opinions to ourselves. Our motto is, "If you want our thoughts, you'll have to ask for them." We don't meddle or cause waves ever, yet she continues to find ways to fault us for things. It's completely unsubstantiated, but it persists!
It's to the point I have so much anxiety that I've considered seeking out a therapist. This DIL is so unapproachable, so to avoid conflict, we just sweep EVERYTHING under the rug to avoid causing our sweet son any grief.
Please let us know if you have any advice. Our hearts are broken! -- Boy Momma
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Week in review: Week to 22 November
Nov. 23rd, 2025 04:15 pmpedanther. One of the problems creeping up on the community theatre I'm a member of is that we have a shortage of people who know how to design, rig, and plot theatrical lighting. ( Read more... )
. In one of the online groups I'm a member of, there was a conversation about Osamu Tezuka, the creator of Astro Boy, Black Jack, and Princess Knight, which gave me an opening to introduce more people to the existence of one of my favourite episodes of the 1980s Astro Boy anime, which uses time travel to set up a three-way crossover between the main characters of those three shows, with some bonus cameos from other Tezuka series thrown in.
. I completed my play-through of XCOM 2 without needing any more do-overs, and felt sufficiently confident to start another play-through with the commitment that this time I would push on and not take any do-overs no matter what setbacks might befall. Consequently, I have achieved something in XCOM 2 that has never happened before: I've seen what happens when you lose the game.( Read more... )
. I had my annual dental check-up. No serious issues, though the dentist did note that there are signs I'm brushing too hard on the side of my mouth where the brush is at a comfortable angle, so that's something I need to be conscious of.
. I didn't make it to board game club this week, because I had to go to a meeting instead.
. The supermarket nearest my house has been closed for months, because the space was bought out by a different operator and it's been going through a full refit. The official opening of the new supermarket was this week, and I walked over at lunch time to see what it was like. ( Read more... )
. My November pick for the random reading challenge was Niven and Pournelle's The Mote in God's Eye, which I've been vaguely meaning to get around to for ages. ( Read more... )
. At Parkrun this week, there was a group of visitors who are travelling around the country doing as many different Parkrun courses as they can. Some of them have done 250 or more different Parkruns.
. On Saturday evening, I went to a concert by a touring group who performed sea shanties and related works (including a rendition of Stan Rogers' "Northwest Passage"). The music was nice (they harmonised beautifully), but it was also a valuable experience in that it got me out of the house and socialising with the other audience members, many of whom I knew well enough to be comfortable chatting with, and some of whom I haven't had a chance to talk with in ages.
I'd been feeling rather grim all week, and I think part of it was a lack of opportunities to interact with people in a non-goal-oriented way. Anyway, whether it was the music or the social interaction (or just that the weather had finally broken), I felt much better when I got up this morning.
. In one of the online groups I'm a member of, there was a conversation about Osamu Tezuka, the creator of Astro Boy, Black Jack, and Princess Knight, which gave me an opening to introduce more people to the existence of one of my favourite episodes of the 1980s Astro Boy anime, which uses time travel to set up a three-way crossover between the main characters of those three shows, with some bonus cameos from other Tezuka series thrown in.
. I completed my play-through of XCOM 2 without needing any more do-overs, and felt sufficiently confident to start another play-through with the commitment that this time I would push on and not take any do-overs no matter what setbacks might befall. Consequently, I have achieved something in XCOM 2 that has never happened before: I've seen what happens when you lose the game.( Read more... )
. I had my annual dental check-up. No serious issues, though the dentist did note that there are signs I'm brushing too hard on the side of my mouth where the brush is at a comfortable angle, so that's something I need to be conscious of.
. I didn't make it to board game club this week, because I had to go to a meeting instead.
. The supermarket nearest my house has been closed for months, because the space was bought out by a different operator and it's been going through a full refit. The official opening of the new supermarket was this week, and I walked over at lunch time to see what it was like. ( Read more... )
. My November pick for the random reading challenge was Niven and Pournelle's The Mote in God's Eye, which I've been vaguely meaning to get around to for ages. ( Read more... )
. At Parkrun this week, there was a group of visitors who are travelling around the country doing as many different Parkrun courses as they can. Some of them have done 250 or more different Parkruns.
. On Saturday evening, I went to a concert by a touring group who performed sea shanties and related works (including a rendition of Stan Rogers' "Northwest Passage"). The music was nice (they harmonised beautifully), but it was also a valuable experience in that it got me out of the house and socialising with the other audience members, many of whom I knew well enough to be comfortable chatting with, and some of whom I haven't had a chance to talk with in ages.
I'd been feeling rather grim all week, and I think part of it was a lack of opportunities to interact with people in a non-goal-oriented way. Anyway, whether it was the music or the social interaction (or just that the weather had finally broken), I felt much better when I got up this morning.
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Nov. 23rd, 2025 02:45 amconuly posting in agonyauntMy mother-in-law is always on a diet. Her house also happens to be where the family gathers monthly for meals. Lately, she has been serving lighter fare and no dessert so that she can eat more healthfully. We are fine with the lighter meals, but when we pushed back on dessert, she got upset and said we weren’t being supportive of her. These meals represent a tiny fraction of what she eats in a year, and I am frustrated that I have to compromise on dessert. (It doesn’t help that her diets are usually fads and not based in science.) Advice?
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