![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feedRead Only Applicable When Buying A Lava Lamp
I have just purchased an electronic item. Eager to try it out, as soon as I purchase it, I open the box while still in the store, while walking to the exit. As soon as I do, I turn around and walk right back up to the cashier.
Me: "I think I'm going to need another one."
I show him the inside of the box. The cashier's eyes go wide.
Cashier: "Oh my…"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
china_shop posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
fan_flashworksfalenaWikipedia has a pretty goog summary, for those who are not familiar with the books:
The Murderbot Diaries is a science fiction series by Martha. The series is told from the perspective of the titular cyborg guard, a "SecUnit" owned by a futuristic megacorporation. SecUnits include "governor" modules that control and punish the constructs if they take any actions not approved by the company. The ironically self-named "Murderbot" hacked and disabled the module but pretends to be a normal SecUnit, staving off the boredom of security work by watching media. As it spends more time with humans, it develops genuine friendships and emotional connections, which it finds inconvenient.
It's got humour, emotional depth, action; it's the perfect comfort read, because Murderbot grappling with what it means to have free will and catching human cooties feeling is weirdly heartwarming. Murderbot is the best protag, I swear. I can't believe I saw this series mentioned around for years and never checked it out because I thought it was going to be gruesome, since its titular character is called Murderbot, ha. It's now also a tv series,starring Brad 'the Iceman' Colbert Alexander Skarsgård. The tv series is fun, a good adaptation, really, but the books are far superior, imo.
All these stories probably contain spoilers, so do not read them if you haven't read the books (you won't be safe if you've just watched the show, I supspect).
In Control. 8K words. Four times having a governor module fucking sucked, plus one time [REDACTED: FILE MISSING]. (Or: Murderbot has Emotions for 8,000 words. ART tries to help. So does Dr. Mensah, but like, in a decidedly less assholish way.)
Re-Initialization. 38K words. When the infamous rogue SecUnit of the Preservation Alliance gets captured, the corporate techs assigned to it expected to be able to get some juicy data, or at least some insights into its cracked governor module. They didn't expect something so… basic.
Changelong. 377 words. helpme.file: Changelog Various additions made by the units who pass along Murderbot’s governor module hack. Tremendously fun!
The Pitt
I adore how most of fandom has decided that Frank is a good guy, despite his many flaws, that he has fallen head over heels in love with Mel and that he'd do anything to be with her. Sometimes I like a darker interpretation of canon, though. In this vein, let me offer you my kingdon for a horse 14K. Langdon drives Mel home after the longest first day in the world. This is an amazing fic, so perfectly in character, hot and it packs such an emotional punch. The ending is absolutely brutal. It needs many more hits, kudos and comments.
holmesticemods posting in holmesticenotalwaysright_feedRead Customer Does Not Nose Best
Customer: "Oh, and do you spray stuff on your clothes?"
Me: "Uh, no, sir, we don't. Why do you ask?"
Customer: "This jacket has a weird smell on it."
notalwaysright_feedRead Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 46
Back when Pokémon Go was really in swing, I made friends with another player whose job brought him to the mall most days. One day, he comes into my store, and I excitedly challenge him to a Pokémon battle.
cosmolinguistI was so tired after work I had a nap. Didn't notice D texting to say dinner is ready. He came upstairs to see how I was doing...and now is asleep himself.
notalwaysright_feedRead How To Get Bad Customers Off Your Chest
Manager: "Sir, I have Tourette’s. When I’m stressed, I slap myself on the chest."
Customer: "What, are you r*****ed or something? I want a non-r*****ed manager to do my refund."
schneefinknotalwaysright_feedRead A Double Sale Double Cross
Me: "Why is my raise so small? It's not even half of what I was promised."
Manager: "The store is still catching up, so we can't afford the raise we'd previously quoted. If the store continues on its upward track, you'll get your raise at your one-year evaluation."
notalwaysright_feedRead Not Leaving Them In The Dark About Corporate Policy
Customer: *Shouting from the dressing room.* "Hey, all the lights in the dressing rooms are off!"
Me: *From my station.* "Yes, ma'am. We closed at ten."
Customer: "Well, how am I supposed to see what I look like?!"
oursinWhat I read
Finished Saving Suzy Sweetchild, which has our protag not only dealing with the usual movie hassle but being called in to deal with the papers of a suddenly deceased in possibly suspicious circumstances academic, as well as (with the usual cohorts) trying to work out what exactly the game is with the apparent kidnapping for ransom of child star, who is beginning to age out of cuteness. We observe that the classic sleuths may sometimes have had two mysteries on their hands but very seldom had to multitask like this.
Some while ago I read an essay by Ursula Le Guin on the novels of Kent Haruf: I fairly recently picked up Our Souls at Night (2015), which is more or less novella length, as a Kobo deal, and it was well-written, and unusual if very low-key, and I daresay I might venture on more Haruf but am in no great rush to do so.
Then on to Upton Sinclair, The Return of Lanny Budd (1953) - perhaps not quite as good as the earlier entries in the series - some of it felt a bit info-dumpy - Lanny and his friends who are promoting peace face the problem of Soviet Stalinist Communism in the Cold War era. I can't help contemplating them and thinking that they are probably going to be sitting targets for HUAC in a few years' time, because they are coming at the issue from a democratic socialist perspective and I suspect their Peace Program is going to be considered deeply sus by McCarthyism. Also, Lanny jnr is going to be of draft age come the 1960s....
On the go
To lighten the mood, Alexis Hall, Audrey Lane Stirs the Pot (Winner Bakes All #3) arrived yesterday.
Up next
The new (double-issue) Literary Review
Also (what was in the straying parcel last week) Dickon Edwards (whom some of you may remember from LJ days?) Diary at the Centre of the Earth: Vol. 1.
cathrowanfridi posting in talkpoliticssagerachelmanija
notalwaysright_feedRead The Coup De Grâce For This Coupon Coup D’état
I'm going down an aisle when I see a customer opening a packet of popcorn.
Me: "Sir! You can't open those until you buy them!"
Customer: "Nope! They got these coupons inside them, see?"
sovayrunpunkrun
