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Things that didn't happen...

Dec. 4th, 2025 01:44 pm
maju: Clean my kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] maju
I'm reading a book in which a family from Atlanta, Georgia is visiting another family just outside of Anchorage, Alaska, for Christmas. The daughter of one of the families is attracted to the son of the other family (and it's mutual). However, parts of the story seem implausible. In one scene, the woman has been working late at night and goes outside around 1 am to clear her head, throwing on a coat and a pair of boots before she goes out, plus picking up a blanket. Just the coat and boots doesn't seem like enough warm outerwear for after midnight in Alaska in December to me. But then she finds the man she's attracted to outside, apparently also clearing his head. At one point he stands up and stretches, and she gets a tantalising glimpse of his flat stomach. Okay then, but that makes it sound like he is dressed very inadequately for after midnight in Alaska in December, doesn't it? Out of curiosity I checked the weather forecast for Anchorage Alaska for the next week, and it seems that the overnight temperatures will be ranging from about 0F to about 6F. That's -18C to -14C. Would someone from Atlanta Georgia be hanging out outside in the middle of the night in those temperatures? It seems highly improbable to me.
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nivalvixen:

blurbwitch:

re-bee-key:

I would pay good money to see THIS movie idea

Okay but this guy should write the script and send it to Hollywood and make that $$$$$ because that is The Christmas we deserve

Kate has to clean the attic and the basement. They’ve been on her to-do list for far too long, and she’s always put them off. There always seems to be something else to do, and now that she’s an empty nester, she finally has the time to do those other things. Still, there’s Christmas decorations that need to be found and hung up. She flicks through her mail: junk, junk, bill that should have been an email, a Christmas card? There’s a faint hope that rises in her chest that Kevin’s finally reaching out to her, and she doesn’t even care if it’s a shitty gas station card and a stamp from somewhere that’s so smudged she can’t read it, she tears open the envelope with her heart in her throat. The card is definitely a shitty gas station one, and the card practically tears as she opens it to find words written in thick black marker:

We’re coming for you.

Her heart and hopes dashed, Kate frowns, cleans her eyes and sniffs as she tries to look at the card’s sender. The back of the envelope is blank, no return address, and there’s not even a name in the card itself. It’s weird, even if it’s an advertising thing or political message, it’s just weird.

Her phone rings, startling her. Since she’s alone, she laughs to herself and tries to dismiss the whole thing as she answers her phone.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Buzz. Oh, sweetie, it’s good to hear from you! How was your Thanksgiving?”

“Yeah, it was good, Mom. How… uh, how was yours?” Buzz sounds hesitant, but Kate’s still thrown off by the card and doesn’t notice.

“Oh, you know, the usual. I went to volunteer, had dinner with a few ladies from the book club. Oh, and I visited your father and left some fresh flowers. It’s nice to see him over holidays. He always ate that cranberry sauce out of the can, and… well, we all know how much he loved Christmas. I thought we could go visit together when we go caroling.”

There’s a pause. Buzz sighs. “Look, Mom, I can’t make it this year. Fee’s parents bought us tickets to Dollywood; it’s right over Christmas. I know how much you look forward to seeing us and the kids, and I’m real sorry about this, Mom. You know how much Fee loves Dolly; she’s been excited about it since they told us. She’s already packing for it and hasn’t even looked at the dates,” he says with a fond smile.

In the background, Kate can hear her daughter-in-law singing 9 to 5, loudly and badly. Fiona’s as tone deaf as a pole, but she enjoys singing and Buzz loves her, so Kate doesn’t complain about needing to wear ear plugs when they go caroling. It’s not the point that they’re the only ones who come back to visit, that she has friends but somehow no family, and a giant house she can’t bring to sell.

“I know it’s short notice; Christmas is only next week - “

“Buzz, sweetie, it’s all right. That’s a lovely present, and you need to go and have fun with Fiona and the kids. I need to see all of the photos when you get back. Remember, don’t post them on Facebook while you’re out or - “

“People will know we’re gone and try to break in,” Buzz finishes along with her. “Everyone knows thieves are online now, Mom.”

Kate swallows her argument, swallows her fear. Thieves can take so much more than things, material goods, and money. Sometimes, they can take family, too.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay, Mom?”

It will be her first Christmas completely alone. She has no idea how Kevin did it twice when he was so young, too young, and never the same again afterwards. Even going cross-country, trying her damnedest and filled with pure desperation to get home to her son, she still had others surrounding her for company or brief comfort.

“I’ll be fine, Buzz. In fact, I’ve already got plans,” she lies with a chipper expression.

“You do? Oh, that’s great, Mom. I’ll send you photos and I’ll make sure to post them on Facebook after we get back, okay?”

“Okay. Good, I’m glad. Enjoy. Merry Christmas, Buzz.”

“Merry Christmas, Mom.”

Kate ends the call and looks at her reflection in the entryway mirror. She looks older than she feels, the chipper expression fading as she faces the long, cold, and lonely holiday ahead. She closes her eyes, inhales, exhales, and opens her eyes. Determined not to wallow and feel sorry, Kate suddenly finds that she does have plans: the house needs to be cleaned and culled, and God help her, the attic and basement will get cleaned out by New Year’s Eve or else. Starting with the trash in her hands, she decides, stalking to the kitchen to throw out the cheap card.

Kevin wakes up after noon, decides to sleep some more, and then does so with the same relish he had as an eight-year-old at home alone. A noise wakes him up an hour later, and he’s less grateful for the interrupted sleep as he gets out of bed, running a hand through his hair as he yawns, scratches, and heads over to his computer. The noise is an alert that bypasses any silencing features he has setup while he’s sleeping, and it’s one he never hoped to hear.

It’s a news alert for the Sticky Bandits - their mugshots in the article, complete with tarred feathers and an iron brand - show that they’ve been released from prison. The article talks about reformation and good behaviour, nothing that matches with his memory of men who tried to kill him twice. There’s a newer photo of them further down, and it’s not reformation he sees in their eyes, it’s revenge.

Kevin tries to set aside the immediate reaction. He’s reading too much into this, too paranoid and mistrustful of adults - even though he technically is one now - and he needs to put it aside. Maybe they have reformed, and they’ll volunteer at a church or, better still, be on house arrest and unable to leave whatever God-forsaken neighbourhood they’ve been sent to.

He swears, runs a hand over his face, and then does a search for their names. It’s far beyond a Google search, but he’s good at this, finding loopholes, finding security hazards, and people pay him upwards of six-figures for a week of his time and security measures both in person and online. He finds Harry and Marv’s Facebook profiles easily enough, despite them not using their actual names or photos. Their private conversations - even the “secret” ones - have several references to the Sticky Bandits, references to “that damn kid” and various things they plan to do for revenge, everything they’d discussed in prison right there in blue and white. It’s embarrassingly easy to find out their idea of revenge, and Kevin swears again when he sees a photo of his mother. It’s taken at a distance, and they’re discussing how she’s alone, how the big ol’ house is still full of expensive things, and all it’ll take is some duct tape and a sturdy chair this time around.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fucking fuckers.”

He hasn’t spoken to his mother since he first walked out of that house with a bag over his back, a laptop under his arm, and a taxi waiting to take him as far as his first paycheck - certainly not six figures then - could take him. Buzz’s parting shot of being an ungrateful shit hit him right in the back, between the shoulder blades and through to his heart, just like Buzz always managed to do. Kevin hadn’t told them about Harry and Marv the first time or second time around, though his father asked about a gold tooth, and his mother mentioned she could never find some of her favourite Christmas ornaments after that first year.

He never told them, but those events changed him in several deep and damaging ways, and they never quite knew what to say or how to handle him. Hell, Kevin didn’t know how to handle himself, either. Now that he’s older, he recognises that he lashed out and he hates how he acted back then, but he still can’t get the nerve or guts to call his mother to apologise. He’d rather face two homicidal maniacs than his mother and the conversation they’d need to have.

This year, it looks like he might have to face both.

Kevin wants to curse again, sighs instead. He closes his search and tries to find a goddamn flight halfway across the country, less than a week left ‘til Christmas, and the weather as foul as it ever has been this time of year.

Kate’s resolve weakens as she goes through Peter’s clothes. Her eyes are teary as she runs her hand over familiar jackets, shirts, trousers. Even his shoes, the laces all tied because he always kicked off his shoes rather than bothering to bend and untie them every time.

Maybe the extra movement might have stopped his eventual heart attack, she thinks, a stupid little thought she’s had over the years, wondering what she could have done or said or how she could have delayed her husband’s death. She misses Peter so damned much, gone in a way that her absent children aren’t, yet both of the absences feeling just as final as the other some days. Kate lets out a shuddering breath as she starts to remove his clothes and sort them into piles for donation or discard.

The car’s full of bags and boxes in two days, and she spends the third day in the garage. The garage will take far more time than she’s anticipated, and Kate sets aside Kevin’s box of toy guns and plastic green army men, among other things. She’d rather the basement or attic, and leaves Kevin’s box alone. One day, he might come home for them.

It’s a lie she likes to tell herself every now and then, just like Peter bending to untie his shoes would have made a difference, but Kate doesn’t have the heart to think about the alternative. The thought of never seeing her son again makes her heart break all over again, and it takes all her strength and willpower to continue cleaning out the garage. She finds an old iron she thought she’d somehow lost and long ago replaced, though she has no idea why it’s tied to a light bulb.

There’s a blizzard and weather reports predict it will last several days. It’s stopped all flights in and out of Chicago while Kevin was on route to that very place, and now he’s in the middle of Nowhere, capital of Nowhere, with no way to get home.

He did a job for the military, someone there owes him a favour, surely. Hell, he could call several people for favours, but this is personal. Harry and Marv are two-bit criminals, but they’re mean and cruel, and they’re going after his mother. Even after all this time, she still posts a Christmas tree photo on Facebook with his name at Christmas, like she thinks he’s following her account. (He is. She doesn’t know.)

His desperation and fear have him blurting out the story to the stranger who’d been next to him on the plane. Her name’s Joan and she’s the Polka Queen of the Midwest. He swears he can hear her capitalising the words as she speaks. Wearing polka dots is certainly a thing she seems intent on doing, but then she starts her band playing, and somehow, Kevin ends up accepting a ride in their rental truck. They’re going from wherever they are in West Virginia to Dollywood, of all places. It’s another 8 hours to get from Chicago from there, but the roads are clearer, and he can call in one of those favours to get a suitable car. It’s certainly better than this place.

Joan stays by him for the ride, keeping him company, and coaxing conversation out of him in a way that not even his trauma therapist could do some days. Kevin tells her, haltingly, about some of the things he’d done as a kid. To redeem himself, to protect his house and family, the things he did after New York when he kept seeing short and bald or tall and curly-haired strangers and almost went after one with a knife.

He shot his Uncle Frank with a pellet gun, and doesn’t entirely regret that because Frank’s a dick, but… well, his relationship with his dad had never been the same after that, especially on top of the bill from New York’s finest hotel. They’d sold all of the presents he’d been given to pay for it, and it still didn’t cover everything with the credit card’s interest.

Kevin tells her about his job, how he hacks companies’ security for money, yet all of that money’s got him nothing and nowhere. He tells Joan how difficult it is to make friends as an adult, even when they’re not reclusive like him, and how he knows what it’s like to set someone on fire.

Joan just looks at him for a long, long moment. “You know, you remind me of my cousin. Alex had a buncha stories like that, too, when he was younger. He’s in the Air Force now. Does something with chips, how he tells it. You got cousins?”

“Yeah, Frank procreated to give the world bed-wetters and tattletales,” Kevin snorts.

“Whereas your parents gave the world you,” Joan says, nudging him and looking far too friendly for Kevin to be offended.

The trip ends - far too close to Dollywood for Kevin’s liking - and he gives her a business card: Turtledove with an email address. He doesn’t give them to just anyone, and he’s pleased to see Joan tuck it away in her purse with the promise of getting her cousin to contact him.

Kevin turns to leave, to find a hotel, a car, or food, and that’s when he bumps into Buzz and his family.

Kate wakes up duct taped to a chair. It takes a moment for her to figure out what’s going on, hears a snicker of laughter from the next room over, and remembers opening the door to carolers. Except it wasn’t carolers, it was two men with a radio, and her head aches.

She’s in the garage, and they’ve taped her to an old chair she’d put aside to throw out because it was broken. Kate feels unsteady even without the broken seat beneath her, and takes a moment to breathe, relax her body, and then start rubbing the duct tape against the jutting piece of metal that’s bent out of shape.

Criminals are in her house, she has no idea where her phone is, and the old landline is probably sitting in a box somewhere. There’s an old telephone plug down here - Peter originally planned on using the basement as an office - and she hunts through the boxes as carefully and quietly as she can. She’ll call the police, tell them she’s being robbed, and -

She opens Kevin’s box. There’s a gun in there, a toy thing he’d begged for when Buzz had gotten one that same year, and the very same one that had been confiscated by Peter after Kevin had shot Frank. The box contains far more than just old toys, though. There’s blueprints, drawings, matches and tar and a few stray feathers, and as Kate unfolds a newspaper article, she sees the same men she’d opened the door to only minutes or perhaps hours ago.

The blueprints tell her everything that Kevin’s hidden throughout the house on his various projects - she knew he hadn’t needed those tin cans for a Science project that had never actually seen the light of day - and she wonders how on earth Kevin managed to saw a floorboard without them noticing or stepping on the damn thing themselves.

There’s no point finding a phone; the police won’t come with the blizzard going the way it is, and even if they do, they won’t be fast enough to stop the thieves that are already pocketing her mother’s jewellery and Peter’s watches. Kate has a house to defend.

Kevin doesn’t know why Buzz believes him. He doesn’t know why he accepts the ride from Buzz, who leaves Fiona and their three kids to continue on to Dollywood without him. He doesn’t know why they spend three hours in absolute silence on the trip to Chicago.

They have a brief stop for a bathroom break - Buzz gets soda and chips like it’s a fucking road trip - and Kevin loses it.

The next three hours aren’t quiet. Kevin unleashes verbal hell on his older brother, drags him through mud and coal and dirt, and then back again. Buzz, oddly, is quiet throughout his tirade. Kevin could be talking to a brick wall for all that Buzz is responding, but at least he’s still driving to Chicago without stopping.

Eventually, Kevin’s voice wears down and he has to stop talking because everything hurts. His throat, his head, his eyes, his heart. Everything aches.

“Kevin? I’m sorry.”

The words echo another apology, practically a lifetime ago, but this time it’s sincere. Buzz must realise he’s said the same words he did on that night, and winces, then continues with a more heartfelt apology. He apologises for riling and pranking Kevin continuously, jealous of his younger brother getting a solo and attention, angry that he would be leaving for college and his family behind, terrified of the future, and dealing with it all in the only way he knew how: to be a bit of a prick.

Kevin laughs, which hurts his throat, but it’s better than screaming again.

They have another bathroom break - Kevin buys a few extra supplies, including a lighter, jockey straps, and a portable camper. Then he adds a bag of chips and a drink - and spend the rest of the trip talking in gentler voices, trying to catch up a decade of life and living in two hours.

Kevin gets quieter as they near the house. Buzz has to concentrate on the roads, so he falls silent too, and it’s just them on the roads with snow for company.

Suddenly, there’s a bright flash of light from up ahead - kerosene, he’d bet his last paycheck on it - and Kevin lets out a whooping cry of laughter and surprise because Mom’s found his tin can stash.

Buzz pulls up to the house, skidding on snow and sleet and ice, and they both run the best they can to the front door.

Kate spins around, armed with hairspray and the stove lighter, and almost sets her sons on fire. Buzz’s eyes are wide as he takes in the two destroyed thieves behind her, both groaning and bleeding, burned, and beaten in several ways. His eyes widen further as he takes in the state of the house that’s just as destroyed. Kevin just stares at his mother. Kate stares back at him - Kevin had sworn to never be in the same room as Buzz for the rest of his life, and she can see Buzz’s car getting filled with snow outside with two open doors - and she smiles hesitantly.

“Merry Christmas, Kevin.”

“Merry Christmas, Mom.”

Buzz can’t believe what he’s seeing when his little brother calls a favour and fifteen minutes later, two choppers arrive. The thieves are taken away, swearing their revenge, and the taller one calling something about a Christmas calling card.

Kevin sits beside Buzz, offers him the chips and drink, and grins. “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.”

Buzz rolls his eyes. “Those were the worst movies. I hated them.”

“Yeah, I know. Eat up before the shock sets in. I’ll call on some friends to help fix the house.”

The fact that Kevin has friends is just as much of a shock as the state of their house, really.

Buzz and Kate wake up the next morning to a perfectly decorated house. Kevin looks like he spent the entire night cleaning everything single-handedly, but they both see a black van leaving with some tinsel hanging out of the back.

There’s food - much smaller with only three - and at Kevin’s request, they get dressed to visit Dad now that the snow’s settled. Buzz’s car is only a little damp, and they head up to the cemetery with flowers and a slowly-repairing relationship between them. It’s not the worst way to spend Christmas Day.


The end.

(no subject)

Dec. 4th, 2025 05:30 am
[syndicated profile] lilisonna_tumblr_feed

iveofficiallygonemad:

wafflebloggies:

funny-tik-toks:

I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO UNMUTE,

Captions:

Gaston: “Everyone knows her father’s a lunatic. He was in there tonight, raving-”

Fast placed music plays as the scene changes.

Gaston: “Whoa! Slow down Maurice.”

FreeBSD 15: Why You’ll Want It

Dec. 4th, 2025 06:08 pm
[syndicated profile] freebsdfoundation_feed

Posted by Mark Phillips

FreeBSD 15.0 landed earlier this week, and we read through the release notes with a fine-toothed comb to highlight some of the key improvements. Here are the standouts.

The BIG One: “pkgbase”

After roughly a decade of work, the base system can now be managed using pkg. Now that it’s here, what does pkgbase mean for everyday users? Drawing from a talk by Baptiste Daroussin, here are the key benefits:

  • Allows users to do fine grained installations (no toolchain, no debug symbols, etc.)
  • Offers more precise merging of configuration files.
  • Developers can easily ship packages for testing.
  • Permits simpler binary upgrades, including smoother tracking of STABLE and CURRENT.

This gives administrators much more flexibility in keeping systems minimal, consistent, and up to date.

Improved Desktop & Laptop Support

Several updates directly benefit laptop and desktop users:

Wi-Fi enhancements

  • The rtwn(4) driver now supports 802.11ac (VHT) for supported Realtek chipsets (RTL8812A and RTL8821A).
  • The new iwx(4) driver, FreeBSD’s native driver for newer Intel wireless chipsets, appears in this release as an alternative to iwlwifi(4).

Audio & device handling

  • Asynchronous device detach is now supported. This improves hot-plug behavior (e.g., USB headsets) and eases use of PulseAudio in cases that require operating system sleep/wake.

AMD GPU stability

  • Fixes landed for gradual slowdowns and freezes affecting certain AMD GPUs when using the amdgpu DRM driver from the drm-kmod ports package.

Offline Help for New Users

Brand new FreeBSD users often need guidance right after install, especially before their system is online.

To help:

  • The existing freebsd-base man page remains an invaluable starting point.
  • A new networking man page provides quick, offline guidance for troubleshooting early network setup.

This is extremely handy if a freshly installed system isn’t connecting to the network.

Major Improvements on Amazon Web Services

Running FreeBSD in AWS? You’ll notice some meaningful improvements:

  • FreeBSD “base” EC2 images now boot up to 76% faster than corresponding 14.0-RELEASE images, with the largest improvements found on arm64 (“Graviton”) instances.
  • The FreeBSD project now publishes “small” EC2 images; these are the “base” images minus debug symbols, tests, 32-bit libraries, the LLDB debugger, the Amazon SSM Agent, and the AWS CLI. This reduces the amount of disk space in use when the EC2 instance finishes booting from ~5 GB to ~1 GB. (wow!)
  • The FreeBSD project now publishes “builder” EC2 images; these boot into a memory disk and extract a clean “base” image onto the root disk (mounted at /mnt) to be customized before creating an AMI. 584265890303 (Sponsored by Amazon)

Other Noteworthy Updates

A few additional items that deserve attention:

  • Possibly bigger news than it appears – bhyve(8) and vmm(4) now support arm64 and riscv platforms.
  • FreeBSD introduces a native mechanism for controlled privilege escalation via mdo(1) and mac_do(4). This provides a built-in alternative to installing tools like sudo or doas when users need limited administrative capabilities.

But Wait! There’s More!

These highlights only scratch the surface. If you’re planning to upgrade—or just want a deeper look—reading the full FreeBSD 15.0 release notes is absolutely worthwhile.

The post FreeBSD 15: Why You’ll Want It first appeared on FreeBSD Foundation.

[syndicated profile] words_about_work_feed

Posted by Mel Buer

Introducing The Union Bug, a new podcast

Since 2018, I have had the great fortune to sit behind a microphone and talk about the things I care about. In years past, I have co-hosted Coffee With Comrades, worked on the limited series Protean Pirate Radio, and contributed to Working People and the Real News Network flagship podcast. I have met numerous wonderful people through my work in audio: scholars, union organizers, community care workers, nonprofit workers, activists, and regular-ass people doing extraordinary things.

Among all the hats I've had the privilege to wear as a union multimedia journalist, podcasting has been the most rewarding and fun of them all. So, I'm getting back behind the mic and bringing more good conversations straight to you.


Introducing The Union Bug

Introducing The Union Bug, a podcast by workers, for workers. This podcast will explore what it means to work for a living in the United States and beyond, and what it means to organize for better working conditions at the shop floor and industry-wide.

Episodes will include conversations with labor leaders, rank-and-file workers, union organizers, authors, scholars, journalists, and anyone else wanting to come on the pod and talk about the work in whatever form they do. There are many good podcasts on labor, working, and organizing in the United States and I hope to join the ranks of these stellar folks and add a bit more to the discussion.

Every month will include at least one episode discussing American labor history; nearly every week there is an anniversary to commemorate, a victory to remember, a tragedy to mourn and memorialize. In this current moment, knowing where we come from and how we can build upon that legacy of movement history is of paramount importance. I look forward to sharing those stories with you and the stories of workers all over this country doing extremely good, important work.

When will new episodes be released?

New episodes will be released every Friday. If you're subscribed to the newsletter, you'll get a link to new episodes at the end of my weekly Last Week in Labor digest. Our inaugural season will kick off just after the new year on Jan 2.

Paid subscribers will also get a chance to hear an early release on Thursdays before it goes up publicly the next morning. If you love what I do and want to support this project (and Words About Work more generally), sign up for a paid subscription. This entire project is reader- and listener-funded, and your support literally keeps the lights on and internet flowing.

Will this be a video podcast?

Short answer? No.

In an age where audio is experiencing its own "pivot-to-video" moment, I am perhaps a bit of a curmudgeonly outlier in that I don't think this product needs to see my mug plastered all over the internet for it to be worth listening to.

The idea is simple: build an audio platform for workers to tell their stories--without the bells and whistles. I hope you'll make it part of your listening rotation--in the car, at the office, while you're having your coffee.

What about AI?

As I've mentioned before, I'm not an AI-user. It's a shitty technology, it sucks, and I refuse to use it. Fuck the slop machine, we're human-made here. You can read more about my AI policy on my about page, which I've linked below.

On that note: I am working with an incredible producer and editor, Tyler Hill, to make this project the best it can be. Your paid subscription will allow me to pay Tyler a decent rate for their work, so please, if you have the cash to spare, consider signing up.

Welcome to Words About Work
What is Words About Work? Words About Work is a newsletter that tries to answer the question: “What does it mean to work for a living in the United States?” This newsletter focuses on providing weekly digests of U.S. labor news, as well as other original news, essays, commentary,
Introducing The Union Bug, a new podcast

This is great! Where can I listen?

Once we get things rolling, you can find episodes on a number of different platforms. I'm setting up a podcast page here on Words About Work so that you can easily find new episodes.

I've got a cool story! Can I come on the pod?

Yes, please, join me. Send tips, episode ideas, and requests for interviews to melbuer@proton.me or via DM on Bluesky. I'd love to have you on.


I hope that this podcast excites you as much as it does me, and I look forward to sharing these stories with you. To stay updated and support this project, please consider signing up for a paid subscription for as little as $5/month. I have a Holiday Subscription Drive running at the moment, which gives you decent discounts on the already heavily discounted annual subscriptions. Every cent helps keep this project running, and I can't do it without you!

Introducing The Union Bug, a new podcast

Become a paid subscriber today and help support The Union Bug!

Subscribe

With much love and solidarity,

Mel

Misc boring bits then... news!

Dec. 4th, 2025 09:16 am
susandennis: (Default)
[personal profile] susandennis
When I lie on my side in the bed, my eyes look out on Barbara's terrace. Barbara lives in Assisted Living. She's a lovely lady with very little vision left. Someone has hung a VERY bright set of icicle lights on her terrace rail. I can practically read by the damn things in bed. I thought about asking her to turn them off at night but then decided, fuck it, I can wear the eye shades that I wear in Summer. They aren't uncomfortable and do the job so problem solved.

Laundry day. I have the process started. I forgot to turn on the lotion warmer before I left for volleyball so it's warming now. The paint roller enables me to apply a layer of lotion all over my back and then get dressed without oiling up my clothes.

There are a lot of seasonal activities planned around here and 99%, maybe even 100%, make me want to lock the door of my apartment with me inside. I have never been a fan of holidays but this year, I am really not. Don't know why and don't particularly care. Happily, I don't even have to explain myself to people. I can be what I want to be.

I got a really interesting email this morning from a French artist asking permission to use me in an AI art piece - specifically in an upcoming exhibit in a French High School. I cannot even believe that sentence. What a wonderful time we live in.

His name is Matéo Picard and his note was delightful. He was, oh so very respectfully, asking my permission to use my data. Of course, all of the stuff is out there for the world to see, no permission needed. He gave me a wide runway for landing a response of 'oh no, that's too creepy' which I really appreciate but do not need. I think it's fascinating. I have more than 25 years of daily journal entries, and photos back to the beginning of Flickr and Tweets and Bluesky posts and that autobiography I wrote and of course my now very old website. I mean there's a shit load to scrape from. It would be fodder for an artificial dummy but artificial intelligence could really go to town.

What amazing fun. And I love his website.

Ok the lotion is warm. Time to get greased up and dressed.

20251203_195114-COLLAGE

[admin post] Admin Post: Choosing Your GYWO 2026 Pledge

Dec. 4th, 2025 01:01 pm
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[personal profile] gywomod posting in [community profile] getyourwordsout
With GYWO 2026 Pledges opening next week, which pledge to choose is hopefully on your mind. Instead of letting everyone stew in their personal hells, we’re running down a few of the common things the mods tell panicked participants, and then offering up a pledge calculator to help you make this somewhat difficult decision.

If you have any questions about GYWO or what it's like to aim for a specific pledge, the comments are open for all your concerns. Sometimes talking to a writer currently working on a pledge can help you come to a pledging decision!


If you're new to GYWO and have a question related to our membership requirements, general guidelines, monthly check-ins, or what words or activities count, please visit our website. More information about pledging for 2026 will be released around Dec 12.


Word Count Pledge Vs Habit Pledge
Deciding between a Word Count Pledge or Habit Pledge can be a difficult decision. Here are some things to consider as you make your choice:
Choosing Between Word Count and Habit )

Habit Pledges
Choosing between Habit Pledges comes down to deciding how much you plan to write each month:
  • If you plan to write mostly on weekends, choose the 120 Day Pledge. That’s weekends + 16 days.
  • If you plan to write mostly on weekdays, choose the 240 Day Pledge. That’s weekdays – 20 days, giving you a few days off.
  • If you want to write every day, choose the 350 Day Pledge!
  • If you've participated previously and 120 Days was too easy, but 240 Days was too hard, try the 180 Day Pledge to land right in between!
  • If you've participated previously and 240 Days was too easy, but 350 Days was too hard, try the 300 Day Pledge to land in between!
  • If you haven’t tried writing daily before but want to, we recommend the 180 Day Pledge as a way to ease into a semi-daily writing habit before tackling a more challenging pledge.


Word Count Pledges
First Time with a Word Count Pledge?
If you’ve never tracked your word count for the year, take a moment to assess how many words you think you’ve written in the past year. Consider things like whether or not you participate in word-count based writing challenges, how much you’ve published in the last year (self or traditionally published, fanfic, blog, etc), and how much you tend to revise your work (writing it entirely over or just editing lines).
  • If meeting your goal is more motivating, choose a goal that matches a conservative estimate of how much you wrote in 2025.
  • If you think you’ll lose interest if you meet your goal early, choose a goal that matches a liberal estimate of how much you wrote in 2025.
  • There are no penalties for not meeting your pledge, so don’t be afraid to choose a pledge you may not be able to meet!


Pledge Calculator
Thinking about what projects you'll work on next year is another common way writers make decisions about their GYWO pledge. To aid that, we've created the Pledge Calculator. Click the link and download or make a copy to use the spreadsheet.

    To save it to your Google Drive, you can go to File > Make a Copy from the web. If you are on mobile from a phone or tablet, tap the 3 dots at the top right, and go to Share & export > Make a Copy

    To download in another format, go to File > Download from the web. On mobile, tap the 3 dots at the top right, and go to Share & export > Save as….

Fill in the title of your projects, estimated word counts, or estimated number of days you'll work on the project. The calculator will recommend a Word Count Pledge and a Habit Pledge based on the information you provide.


download or save the Pledge Calculator



Whether you've done GYWO before or used the calculator, you might have narrowed your choice to two goals. Here’s our advice for choosing between two word count goals…

Go Big on Word Counts )
Step Back on Word Counts )
Keep Your Word Count Consistent )

The best advice we have is to look at your schedule and figure out where writing fits into it. Use the pledge calculator (or pen and paper) to list the projects, ficathons, and stories you might write next year and consider the word tallies or time involved. Really think about what's motivating for you—knowing you'll hit a goal or chasing down the finish line.

And if all else fails, you can do what some of our current GYWO members have suggested and pick your pledge based on the associated pledge color. 😉

    Habit Pledges120 Days (Backpacker), 180 Days (Excursionist), 240 Days (Explorer), 300 Days (Adventurer), and 350 Days (Globetrotter)
    Word Count Pledges75K (Light), 150K (Modest), 200K (Basic), 250K (Moderate), 300K (Difficult), 350K (Herculean), 500K (Outrageous), and 1M (Ludicrous)


As a reminder, your GYWO pledge is locked in for the full year.
You cannot change pledges mid-year.
If you hit your goal early, you're still part of the same pledge group.
So choose a goal to sustain you ALL year.



In the comments, let us know your pledging woes! Wonder how difficult another pledge is? Still need clarity on the pledge types? This is your opportunity to ask. After some discussion, hopefully you'll come away with a confident decision.

Note: Commenting to this post does not constitute pledging for 2026. Come back next week and follow the instructions in the Pledges & Requirements post to make a pledge for 2026.

Disadvent 4

Dec. 4th, 2025 12:08 pm
psocoptera: ink drawing of celtic knot (Default)
[personal profile] psocoptera
Cans to recycling, a semi-routine task I still like to give myself credit for actually doing. :)
runpunkrun: combat boot, pizza, camo pants = punk  (punk rock girl)
[personal profile] runpunkrun
Photograph of the aurora borealis taken in Norway, text: Amnesty, at Fancake. The northern lights are a bright green scribble that stretches over the horizon, along a snowy mountain ridge, and up into the starry night sky.
At the end of another long year, [community profile] fancake's theme for December is, as always, amnesty. This month you can make recs for any previous theme—from any year—as long as it hasn't already been recced for that theme.

I posted a rec for [personal profile] thefourthvine's sexy and fun We Better Make a Start, an everybody lives/nobody dies Stranger Things fic with Steve & Robin friendship and Steve/Eddie makeouts.

If you have any questions about this theme, or the comm, come talk to me!

thursday

Dec. 4th, 2025 09:34 am
summersgate: (Default)
[personal profile] summersgate
DSC_0413.jpg
Winter Is Coming. Yesterday I had an idea that I wanted to draw some kind of really simple circle with wavy tendrils coming out of it. Just a black circle with black lines dissipating as they went out, but I never did. Didn't feel like I had the time. So this morning I tried to paint something a bit more exciting with that as a premise and this is what came out.

I'm about halfway done with finishing the backs of the mosaic mirrors (I could even finish today if I stay on task) so I'm feeling a little more energized and am thinking about what I want to do for a next project. Thinking about new projects always make me feel good. I'm looking forward to weaving cotton-blend pin loom squares to make a summer weight baby blanket for Rowan. I have 2 shades of blue, aqua, white, yellow and lavender yarn that I want to use. Also I want to get back to doing art-a-day again. Everyday. Even if all I have time to do is something like that idea I had yesterday - a simple black and white drawing. Just something. I have numerous sketchpads and books I could use but I'm not going to worry about that. Just grab any book or any piece of paper I can find that will work and use that. I won't worry about filling a book page by page like I did before.

Torchwood: Fanfic: In Charge

Dec. 4th, 2025 02:38 pm
badly_knitted: (Eyebrow Raise)
[personal profile] badly_knitted posting in [community profile] fan_flashworks

Title: In Charge
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: [personal profile] badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Tosh, Owen, Gwen.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 661
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Jack is on paternity leave, so Ianto is now in charge of Torchwood Three.
Content Notes: Contains M-Preg.
Written For: Challenge 499: Boss.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.





[syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed

Posted by John Scalzi

For the first three days of the Whatever Gift Guide this year, We’ve had authors and creators tell you about their work. Today is different: Today is Fan Favorites day, in which fans, admirers and satisfied customers share with you a few of their favorite things — and you can share some of your favorite things as well. This is a way to discover some cool stuff from folks like you, and to spread the word about some of the things you love.

Fans: Here’s how to post in this thread. Please follow these directions!

1. Fans only: That means that authors and creators may not post about their own work in this thread (they may post about other people’s work, if they are fans). There are already existing threads for traditionally-published authorsnon-traditionally published authors, and for other creators. Those are the places to post about your own work, not here.

2. Individually created and completed works only, please. Which is to say, don’t promote things like a piece of hardware you can find at Home Depot, shoes from Foot Locker, or a TV you got at Wal-Mart. Focus on things created by one person or a small group: Music, books, crafts and such. Things that you’ve discovered and think other people should know about, basically. Do not post about works in progress, even if they’re posted publicly elsewhere. Remember that this is supposed to be a gift guide, and that these are things meant to be given to other people. So focus on things that are completed and able to be sold or shared.

3. One post per fan. In that post, you can list whatever creations you like, from more than one person if you like, but allow me to suggest you focus on newer stuff. Note also that the majority of Whatever’s readership is in the US/Canada, so I suggest focusing on things available in North America. If they are from or available in other countries, please note that!

4. Keep your description of the work brief (there will be a lot of posts, I’m guessing) and entertaining. Imagine the person is in front of you as you tell them about the work and is interested but easily distracted.

5. You may include a link to a sales site if you like by using standard HTML link scripting. Be warned that if you include too many links (typically three or more) your post may get sent to the moderating queue. If this happens, don’t panic: I’ll be going in through the day to release moderated posts. Note that posts will occasionally go into the moderation queue semi-randomly; Don’t panic about that either.

6. Comment posts that are not about fans promoting work they like will be deleted, in order to keep the comment thread useful for people looking to find interesting gifts.

Got it? Excellent. Now: Geek out and tell us about cool stuff you love — and where we can get it too.

Tomorrow: Charities!

Dry eyes in the house

Dec. 4th, 2025 04:00 pm
cimorene: Couselor Deanna Troi in a listening pose as she gazes into the camera (tell me more)
[personal profile] cimorene
Yesterday Wax had to quit work early and drive into Turku to see a doctor because it felt like something was poking her in her left eye but there was nothing there! And then she had to get up early and go to Turku today to see a specialist. She got some eyedrops presecribed, but there's nothing majorly wrong with her eye. It's just that her eyes are too dry. Apparently when your eyes are too dry one of the things that can happen is that they stick to your eyelids when you're asleep and if they're too stuck, when you open your eyes a few cells from the retina can get torn off it and stay stuck to the eyelid, which pokes a little micro hole in the retina and feels like you're being constantly stabbed in the eyeball. Isn't that great?

When we were talking about this last night I said, "You know, for a bunch of years, like maybe five to ten years ago, I felt like my eyes were too dry all the time and I was putting saline drops in them frequently, but a few years ago instead it started being like they overcompensate and make a lot of tears and now my eyes are more likely to be running when I've been asleep or lying down..." and with her new knowledge she was able to devastatingly inform me that this is just a sign of my eyes being dry, and even though it makes them hurt less, the tears are the wrong kind of moisture or something and not actually helping the eye themselves. So apparently in addition to the drops Wax needs for the inflammation and pain, we both have to start moisturizing our eyes now.

The other quixotic thing that happened this week was that my sister forgot about Brexit. Again.

To be specific: last year my sister ordered me a holiday present from a UK etsy shop that cost more than the minimum you can import without paying import taxes now (which I think is like under 20€ - it might even be 10?). As a result I got a text informing me that a package I didn't know about previously was at Customs, and in order to free it I had to fill out an online form indicating exactly what it was (which is a hassle in itself because they're in a taxonomic tree list) and provide a receipt or proof of purchase, in this case, the email receipt from the webshop that my sister had to forward, which obviously sort of spoiled the surprise. With a small present the amount you have to pay to release it from jail is only a few euros typically, but it is a hassle and it spoils the surprise.

And then this week she FORGOT THAT THAT HAD HAPPENED and ordered me a present from another UK shop.

(My parents & sister and I have pretty much given up on mailing back and forth anything larger than a padded envelope due to the delays and the fact that postage for the regular-sized boxes we typically used to send has gone up to generally over 100€.)
james_davis_nicoll: (Default)
[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll


Cleric Chih's quest to record the tragic history of a famine succeeds all too well.

A Mouthful of Dust (Singing Hills, volume 6) by Nghi Vo

(no subject)

Dec. 4th, 2025 09:45 am
oursin: hedgehog in santa hat saying bah humbug (Default)
[personal profile] oursin
Happy birthday, [personal profile] gchick!

December Days 02025 #03: Chemistry

Dec. 3rd, 2025 11:33 pm
silveradept: An 8-bit explosion, using the word BOMB in a red-orange gradient on a white background. (Bomb!)
[personal profile] silveradept
It's December Days time again. This year, I have decided that I'm going to talk about skills and applications thereof, if for no other reason than because I am prone to both the fixed mindset and the downplaying of any skills that I might have obtained as not "real" skills because they do not fit some form of ideal.

03: Chemistry

If you asked me about whether I can bake or cook, I would tell you no. If you then asked me whether I could follow a recipe, I'd tell you yes, and that I've successfully done it many times. When you point out that following recipe is literally the process of baking or cooking, I'll counter that with the idea that the sign of baking and cooking skill is somehow fixed in my head as being able to look at a basket of ingredients and understand how you could make a tasty meal with them, without the need to refer to recipe, only your own experience and technique. You can tell me that's a ridiculous standard to hold anyone to, and I'll agree with that, as well, and mention that my own head can be stubborn sometimes about what it thinks of as the baseline for being able to claim a skill. Because that kind of skill is not necessarily something that people who can follow recipes deliciously will ever develop, or necessarily desire to develop.

The domestic arts were not being taught that much in schools. There were classes with names like "life skills," which were often about learning how to balance a checkbook and keep track of your accounts, how to calculate what the additional costs of finance charges might be, including the one attached to a revolving credit account (more colloquially known as a credit card), and other skills that were meant to send us out into the world slightly less wide-eyed and terrified at the prospect that we no longer were bound to the school and would be considered, in the eyes of the law, contract or otherwise, as adults who could make life-changing decisions on our own. There were simulations about whether or not someone could live a month on the salary of the career they were thinking about going in to, which were also disguised ever so slightly as recruitment efforts to various places or career options, including the military. But at no point did I learn how to cook things while in school. I learned a little about it, using microwave technology and the conventional oven to do things like cook pot pies or make popcorn or other snack foods, but while I was a child, my stay-at-home mother handled the cooking, and while I was an undergraduate, I was on the dormitory meal plans, which covered most of my meals, and I could use some credit to have sandwiches or other such things for the one meal the dorm plan didn't cover. So, theoretically, I could avoid having to learn how to cook until I left the dormitories, and even then, I could have managed to avoid it by trading out cooking duties for other chores in the arrangements that I had while living with other college students. I didn't do that, but neither did I get much of an education in the arts of cooking and of shopping for myself. Not least because the last place I was in for graduate school had a strong infestation of ants, and those ants liked to turn up in insufficiently sealed cracker and cereal boxes. So I learned which foods not to buy because they attracted the ants to them.

Having left the tender illusions of schooling and moving myself to the Dragon Conspiracy Territory, with a job in hand, and soon, an apartment of my own, the lessons I had learned about frugality and making the dollar stretch meant that not only was I going to consider "eating out" to be a great luxury, it meant that I was going to have to cut back on the amount of already-prepared meals and foods and start using some of my spare time to cook up food that I would take for lunches to work. I had sandwich makings, and my indulgence, such that it was, was frozen pizza with a mozzarella cheese-filled outer crust, and some microwave meals for those nights when I was going to get home from work too tired to do much more than cook up that food and possibly vegetate or otherwise get caught up on the Internet's doings for the day.

(When I was in the relationship that hurt me, it was a point of pride for my ex that she did the cooking and feeding of me, and that I should not have to worry about it. Even when she was doing a fair amount of overspending the budget I vainly kept trying to set and explain to her that we had to adhere to, because my money was not infinite and I knew that if we got in the habit of overspending because she had money to draw on, it would hurt a lot when that money ran out completely. My attempts were all failures, because my ex was looking for excuses not to have to hold to limits and also told me that she believed anything other than a firm no was an invitation for her to more strongly argue her position. After telling me this, she would get unhappy and sulky when I switched to firm nos about things that I had been trying to use polite nos for. The no hadn't changed, but once she told me how to deliver it so that she would listen, that's what I used.)

However, [livejournal.com profile] 2dlife took, well, maybe not pity on me, but an interest, because C was skilled in the arts and was willing to teach someone who hadn't collected the necessary parts of being able to follow recipe and understand what techniques were being called for. This was meant both as skill-building and as lowering the intimidation factor toward cooking, because it's much harder to think of cooking as a daunting task when you can keep turning out delicious food by following the instructions in front of you. Under C's direction and instructional material, I made quiche. (The first one was perfect and delicious, and every quiche I made after that was chasing that first perfection. They were all still good, but they weren't exactly like the first perfect one.) I made braised chicken, and I made goulash, and stews, and I tried to make breaded, battered, and fried chicken, which didn't turn out as well as I had hoped, because while I'd made things, I hadn't made them to stick to the chunks of chicken I had as well as I wanted them to. And with each new item, I had learned new technique for preparation or cooking, to the point that by the time C was done walking me through things, I had a repertoire of things that I could make, depending on what I was in the mood for, and I could make them in sufficient quantities that they could serve as components for many different types of meals. The chicken went in lunches, but what accompanied the chicken changed throughout the week, so that I wouldn't get bored of it. And I still had the pizzas and microwave meals for variety and for those days where cooking just was not going to happen.

(Since the dishwasher in the apartment was broken, I also got very good at using the minimum number of pots and pans for these meals, because I dislike doing dishes by hand, and therefore would want to spend as little time on that as I could.)

Fast forward through the harmful relationship, and I am once again on my own and equipped with a kitchen to resume where I left off. Although by this time, C's dropped off the Internet, or at least LiveJournal, so I don't have the entries to refer back to again. What I do have, though, is the Internet itself, and so it's back to meal planning, figuring out what I want to make, and investing in a quality and sharp knife. Maki joined my repertoire of things I could make, and once again, the first one turned out beautifully, and many of the others turned out much less so. Presentation was not that important, however, because I was the one eating it, and therefore if it was delicious, it counted as a success. Shortly afterward, a long-distance relationship became a proximal one, and I returned to the more comfortable role of sous chef, doing prep work and assisting in cleanup while letting the person with confidence, skill, and practice do much of the main cooking work. My skills didn't atrophy, though, because these sessions had the same idea as C's in mind: I was learning things about how to gauge when something was done, I was handling preparation of various things, or at least the first stages of them, or being asked to watch them until they showed the signs of being done, and pretty often, I'd get the instructions on how something was done and the expectation that I would be able to turn out delicious food. And I succeeded in these matters, following recipe and instruction from someone who had the skills to look at a basket of things and figure out something delicious from them.

I'd still tell you no if you asked if I could cook, though. Even though there is one memorable instance in my cooking career where I may have shown up some people who did not have the necessary skills to prepare the food they had obtained for a gathering. Their chef had flaked on them, and so, because I was hungry and I knew how to make the food they wanted to serve, with one pan, a sharp knife, a silicone spatula, time, and spite, I made delicious food. There was definitely some incredulity that someone could just do something like that, but as someone who had trained with C's braised chicken and making C's quiche recipe, the food in question for the gathering was well within my capacity. And there were no complaints about the food that had been promised actually appearing, and being delicious.

(There is a story on my father's side of the family about one of the uncles taking over cooking and baking duties for my grandmother on that side as the cancer that eventually killed her (fuck cancer forever) made her no longer able to handle those duties. "I ain't heard no one complain," he said, when Grandma was trying to help him do things better. Being a person of sharp wit, she replied, "Are you still listening?")

As time has gone on, and other people have joined up with the household, cooking duties have been spread out and sometimes individualized, and sometimes not. I know that I've prepared the red beans and rice specialty from a housemate from recipe and direction, to excellent results, and I have been at last co-head chef for several years of the November feast and its requirements. This year, I flew solo on the November feast, and it was all delicious, and those who partook of the feast all agreed that it was delicious as well, so I suspect that means my cooking skills have significantly leveled up from what they were when I was just starting out with C, both for stunt chefery and feast chefery. I certainly have confidence at this point that I can follow recipe and turn out delicious things. (Chicken carbonara, oh, goodness, that was good, even if it was fiddly as fuck to get right.)

In the other half of chemistry class, most of what I'd learned how to do before University days were no-bakes and other items that required blending, but not necessarily baking and monitoring things until they were properly done, based on both the time that the recipe said and the eyeballing or toothpicking skills needed to ascertain when something is truly done and ready. The shutdown and shift to virtual services gave me a golden opportunity to practice skills that I had been self-conscious about (including art skills like drawing and crafting that I mentioned in the previous entry), and when I suggested to my co-presenters to try kitchen sciences with our child cohort, with the supervision of their adults, they were enthused about it. Which meant rustling up recipes for baked goods that could go from creation to full bake in approximately an hour, and then, live and in front of children and my co-presenter, actually doing the mixing, proving, rising, preparation, and baking for these objects. Shortbread first, then scones, pretzels, biscuits, pizzas, all different kinds of dough with different requirements of time, temperature, kneading, and the rest. I couldn't believe it when the shortbread came out of the oven and was delicious. I didn't believe I could do it well the first time. Some of the recipes I did a practice run with to make sure that they actually would go in the time that they claimed, and even the practice runs turned out well. As with the other things that I had made, I tried to emphasize to the children that if it was delicious, it was a success, no matter whether it looked perfect or not. Because the things I made were not uniform, perfectly-stamped objects all arranged in a row. They were different sizes, some a little looser or tighter than others, and showcased just how much of an amateur I was, and how much I was learning alongside them at doing this. But they were delicious, and the ones the kids made were delicious, as well.

I have had to learn how to adjust my spicing preferences to others' tastes, and to learn when to lean hard into spicing and when to have a lighter touch with it. But I am no longer intimidated by recipe, and the person I consider the cook in the household has been pointing out to me that I am already at the phase of making delicious food based on vaguer instructions than recipe, so I appear to be moving forward in skill and practice, so it's possible for me to make small diversions and adjustments to recipe based on the kitchen I'm in, and the taste of what I want. So, within a narrow band of possible parameters, and with instructions to hand, I can cook and bake, which is a lot more than I could do many years ago.

Disadvent the Third

Dec. 4th, 2025 12:10 am
psocoptera: ink drawing of celtic knot (Default)
[personal profile] psocoptera
Travel-sized bottles with just a tiny bit of dried-up lotion or hand sanitizer. The lip balm I like but which always goes off too soon if left in a purse or near a radiator. The vanilla chai toothpaste I bought to see whether a non-mint toothpaste would help my heartburn any. (No, and it was gross, and this was years ago, and I take a PPI now.) The bag of some weird brand of more-organic pads that I hated that's been falling on my head every time I have to get something off of the top shelf of the hall cupboard for the past, like, ten years - but what if I threw them out and there was some kind of supply chain failure, wouldn't it be better to have them in an emergency? (No.)
[syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed

Posted by John Scalzi

I never quite got Brian De Palma. An unquestionably talented director, he knew how to make a hit — see Carrie and the first Mission Impossible film — and if he was going to fail, he was going to do it on a scale so grand that people would write books about it (The Bonfire of the Vanities). He was brash, steeped in film lore, and more than happy to make sure you knew when he was showing off, which was often; what were Body Double and Blow Out other than him paying homage to, and then trying to one up, Hitchcock and Antonioni? The chutzpah! The actual brass balls on this guy!

Some people loved it (Pauline Kael, for one, seemed to eat it up, and who was going to argue with her), but I was, and, I have to say, still am, largely unimpressed. Scratch a De Palma film and you’ll very often find there’s no there there — it’s mostly just surface flash and thrill and some very intentional shock and subversion, all very mannered and very little with any resonance. Outside of Carrie — which made household names out of De Palma, Stephen King and Sissy Spacek all in one go — it’s debatable that De Palma ever made a truly classic movie, a world-beating piece of celluloid that is studied for its quality over its kitsch.

(And yes, my dudes, I see you standing up on a table full of cocaine, beating your chest over Scarface and telling me to say hello your little friend. Grand Guignol as it is, what it has going for it is excess. It’s a lot, and I found it tiring, and when Tony Montana finally ended up face down in the water, what I remember thinking was good, now I get to go home.)

So: Brian De Palma. Mostly, not for me! Maybe for you, fine, okay, you do you! But not for me!

Ahhhh, but then there’s The Untouchables. And suddenly, for length of this one single film, Brian De Palma is indeed very much for me.

Come with me now to 1930 Chicago, smack dab in the middle of prohibition, and Treasury Officer Elliot Ness (Kevin Costner, stalwart) has come into town to take on the bootleggers and gangsters, two groups with, shall we say, a rather substantial overlap. Ness has little success at it until he comes across beat cop Jimmy Malone (Sean Connery, the most Scottish Irish cop ever), who knows where all the bodies are buried around town, and where the rum is being run. Together with their small and select team (Andy Garcia, in one of his first big roles, and Charles Martin Smith as comedy relief, until he isn’t), they take on Al Capone (Robert De Niro) the celebrated gangster who is loved by the press, despite the fact that he’ll happily blow up a kid or two if that’s what it takes to keep his grip on the town.

It’s a rich setting, and of course this film is not the first time the prohibition era had been essayed — heck, The Untouchables itself was an update of a late 50s TV series starring Robert Stack. The film was treading a path that had been trod upon many times before. This reappraisal and reinvention of film and television tropes was nothing new to De Palma, who had by this time had homaged directors and source material, including Scarface (originally a 1932 movie starring Paul Muni), and he would go on to retread Mission Impossible. The Untouchables, as a property and as a mode of storytelling, was old hat, both for De Palma or for the culture at large. So what is it that sets this movie apart?

Weirdly — no really, weirdly, because this is a film where one character bashes in the head of another character with a baseball bat — I think what makes this film work is restraint. Brian De Palma is Brain De Palma-ing himself all over this film, with all his stylistic tics and touches and his oh-look-do-you-see-how-I’m-referencing-Eisenstein-aren’t-I-so-very-clever-ness, but he’s doing it at about an 8, rather than an 11. Yes, there is that (rather famous) scene involving a baseball bat, but here’s the thing: what makes it shocking isn’t the assault, it’s the context. De Palma shows us enough of the assault (and the aftermath) to make the point, but, unlike, say, Scarface, there’s no lingering. De Palma gets in, gets what the scene needs, and gets out.

Now, I am going to accept there is skepticism for this thesis of mine. The Untouchables does not exactly skimp on the blood or the occasional shot of someone’s brains all over a window pane. This is a movie that rather handily earns it “R” rating. But my argument is that in these cases it’s not about quantity, it is about quality. Those brains on the window pane are actually in service to the story. They are just enough to fill in the scene, and then we’re moving on. For De Palma, for whom so much of his directorial style is basically more, of whatever it is, not just blood although certainly blood too, this sort of restraint in the service of story feels a little revolutionary. Turns out you can do a whole lot, if you’re not trying to bludgeon your audience into sensory overload.

De Palma didn’t have to drive his audience into sensory overload in no small part because the whole affair is just so incredibly handsomely mounted. The script, by David Mamet before his metaphorical cheese starting slipping off his metaphorical cracker, is sharp and pithy and melodramatic as hell. The set design offers up a version of Chicago that is a beautiful fable — 1930 Chicago didn’t look like this but how wonderful it would have been if it had. The wardrobe — the wardrobe! — is done by Georgio fucking Armani, and by God you can tell, everyone looks so ridiculously good. You can pause the movie at just about any point where there’s not blood being sprayed about, and it will look like a fashion shoot. It’s all so good that the terrific Ennio Morricone score is almost an afterthought. Almost.

And then there’s the cast. Sean Connery won an Oscar for his portrayal of a cop past his prime who decides to do the right thing, even if he knows how little good it will do, and as it’s the film’s only Oscar, it’s not unreasonable that this performance is what the film is remembered for. With that given, I will yet argue that this is Kevin Costner’s movie. It’s hard to remember on this side of Field of Dreams and Dances With Wolves and even Yellowstone, but this is the film that made Kevin Costner an actual star; before this he was playing corpses (The Big Chill, out of which he was mostly cut) and second bananas (Silverado).

In Elliot Ness, Costner found the character he’d carry forward: The compelling square, the do-right stiff you can’t actually take your eyes off of. He’d occasionally tilt off this character, mostly when Ron Shelton needed him to play a gone-to-seed sportsman, but it’s pretty clear that with The Untouchables, Costner learned how his bread would be buttered going forward. He went with it for a good long while.

As for De Niro as Al Capone; well, scenery is chewed, and the chewing is delicious.

The Untouchables is the one Brian De Palma movie I unreservedly love, and enjoy, and rewatch, but this is not to say it is a great film. Even Pauline Kael, famously a De Palma champion, understood this; she wrote that The Untouchables was “not a great movie; it’s too banal, too morally comfortable… But it’s a great audience movie — a wonderful potboiler.” This is exactly right. Not every film has to be great, sometimes “just really goddamned good” is good enough. It just needs every good thing in proportion, and for the director to understand when enough is enough.

For this one film, Brian De Palma seemed be content with just “enough.” It wouldn’t last, and that’s fine. It didn’t have to.

— JS

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Ricky Buchanan