Exercise And Emotions

[jeshyr]

This post was inspired by afuna's post Numbers, Exercise, and Levelling Up which talks about exercise and the enjoyment (or not) thereof. I posted a comment and then realised the comment had turned into a post and decided to expand it and post it here properly.

This is the background:

I have always hated exercise in almost any form, structured or unstructured.

I hate group stuff more because it highlights how bad I am and the group has usually been school-mates and you all know how awful they are to the least-able in the team.

But even individual physical stuff where I'm only measuring against myself has been pretty unpleasant - it generally causes undue pain and exhaustion (even when done sensibly, it's just part of my disability's effects).

Additionally, now I'm 35 I have 35 years of bad memories and negative thought patterns related to physical stuff and, really, related to almost everything to do with the way my body works - or, usually, fails to work. The idea of feeling positive about doing anything physically strenuous seems almost bizarre.

The current situation:

For those who are wandering into this post, I've been effectively bedridden for the past 10 years. Around the start of 2010 I began a new medication whose effects have been nothing short of miraculous. I am able to do previously impossible feats such as sitting up in a recliner or in my wheelchair for a few hours a day, and having showers (oh joy, oh bliss!) in a shower chair, and generally being a lot healthier (although still mostly bedridden).

Because one of my major problems is that my blood pressure is bizarrely low despite major meds (and falls when I sit or stand up), having increased muscle tone would be an advantage to me. Increased muscle tone tends to increase blood pressure according to my docs.

So now I am doing, of my own choice and under much medical supervision, a lot of physiotherapy (aka physical therapy) exercises every day. These exercises include a bunch of strength/control exercises, some balance exercises, and some aerobic stuff. I do it mixed up because I can manage more of the aerobic exercise that way, so the sets are something like this:

• Strength/control stuff


• Aerobic stuff, type 1


• Strength/control stuff


• Aerobic stuff, type 2


• Balance stuff


• Aerobic stuff, type 1

Doing this program, my abilities are increasing rapidly - both my ability to exercise (increasing number of repetitions of exercises I can do, for example) and my abilities at general life activities (it was only last week that I became strong enough to shower, for example).

The trouble is, I still hate doing the exercises. I choose to do it because it is helping me towards my chosen goal of being more physically able, but the exercise regime itself is something I struggle through and dislike with a passion.

Techniques I use to make sure I get the exercises done include:

• Extreme perseverance (I am very good at plodding along with stuff I hate if I have a good enough reason)


• Drafting people to remind/encourage/buddy me through doing the exercises every day. My flatmate is great at this and saves up her most hated studying to do at the time I'm exercising so we can encourage each other


• Giving myself "treats" of various types for surviving and not skipping days, etc.


• Tracking everything on a spreadsheet, which I'm geeky enough to enjoy

It's working for now but, especially as the exercises I'm able to do get more intense and take longer, I think it'll be less and less effective.

The one exercise I have ever really enjoyed doing is swimming. I think a lot of the reason for this is that I abhor the feeling of being sweaty and swimming gets around that neatly :). Anyway, one of my top goals at the moment is to get well enough to do hydrotherapy some days a week.

According to my doctor, water exercises are perfect for my needs, luckily, and there's a pool not TOO far away. Unfortunately, I'm not yet well enough for the travel+changing+swimming+shower+change+travel routine. Part of my self-motivation mind-tricks at the moment is "I'm doing this to help myself get stronger so I can do swimming and not have to do this".

But I really would like to ENJOY doing physical stuff ... or at least, not hate it! It would make the motivation easier and ... well, currently with warming up and cooling off and changing and everything it takes over an hour a day to do it all. I don't want to spend an hour of my very short day[1] doing stuff I hate!

I've tried changing the exercises I do - borrowing a Wii Fit Plus setup from one of my brothers but as I can't yet stand up to exercise I really can't usefully do those exercises. So games are out at the moment, as is dancing for the same reason.

I've tried distracting myself with audio books while I exercise but I have to count repetitions and I can't manage to concentrate on both.

I have put together a music set which has music which is the right speed for my exercises and is music that's cheerful and which I like, but it's a small thing.

I'm working on changing the language I use to talk about my body and about the exercise program, so I'm not constantly telling/reminding myself that I'm physically useless and hate exercise. But that's a fairly long term thing and although I've managed to make some changes in my language (which I think is good in itself) it hasn't resulted yet in any changes in my mindset regarding exercises.

My biggest current limitations about exercises are:

1. I can't stand up for more than a few seconds, so exercises need to be done lying or sitting down (lying down ones are easier). At the moment they're about half and half.


2. My right wrist is permanently messed up, so I can't do anything that requires putting weight/stress on that joint.

I'd very much like suggestions about changing my mindset on this! I'm willing to consider pretty much anything either physical or mental or something I haven't thought of... suggest away!

Cheers,
Ricky

[1] My day actually is short. I have to spend 2-3 hours in the afternoon asleep, as well as about 9-10 hours every night. A good deal of the awake time I'm only "good" for audio books and reading. The time I can actually do active stuff, not counting my exercise time, is about 2 hours a day.

Comments

[dragonsally]

That would be good - yes please.