Exercise And Emotions

[jeshyr]

This post was inspired by afuna's post Numbers, Exercise, and Levelling Up which talks about exercise and the enjoyment (or not) thereof. I posted a comment and then realised the comment had turned into a post and decided to expand it and post it here properly.

This is the background:

I have always hated exercise in almost any form, structured or unstructured.

I hate group stuff more because it highlights how bad I am and the group has usually been school-mates and you all know how awful they are to the least-able in the team.

But even individual physical stuff where I'm only measuring against myself has been pretty unpleasant - it generally causes undue pain and exhaustion (even when done sensibly, it's just part of my disability's effects).

Additionally, now I'm 35 I have 35 years of bad memories and negative thought patterns related to physical stuff and, really, related to almost everything to do with the way my body works - or, usually, fails to work. The idea of feeling positive about doing anything physically strenuous seems almost bizarre.

The current situation:

For those who are wandering into this post, I've been effectively bedridden for the past 10 years. Around the start of 2010 I began a new medication whose effects have been nothing short of miraculous. I am able to do previously impossible feats such as sitting up in a recliner or in my wheelchair for a few hours a day, and having showers (oh joy, oh bliss!) in a shower chair, and generally being a lot healthier (although still mostly bedridden).

Because one of my major problems is that my blood pressure is bizarrely low despite major meds (and falls when I sit or stand up), having increased muscle tone would be an advantage to me. Increased muscle tone tends to increase blood pressure according to my docs.

So now I am doing, of my own choice and under much medical supervision, a lot of physiotherapy (aka physical therapy) exercises every day. These exercises include a bunch of strength/control exercises, some balance exercises, and some aerobic stuff. I do it mixed up because I can manage more of the aerobic exercise that way, so the sets are something like this:

• Strength/control stuff


• Aerobic stuff, type 1


• Strength/control stuff


• Aerobic stuff, type 2


• Balance stuff


• Aerobic stuff, type 1

Doing this program, my abilities are increasing rapidly - both my ability to exercise (increasing number of repetitions of exercises I can do, for example) and my abilities at general life activities (it was only last week that I became strong enough to shower, for example).

The trouble is, I still hate doing the exercises. I choose to do it because it is helping me towards my chosen goal of being more physically able, but the exercise regime itself is something I struggle through and dislike with a passion.

Techniques I use to make sure I get the exercises done include:

• Extreme perseverance (I am very good at plodding along with stuff I hate if I have a good enough reason)


• Drafting people to remind/encourage/buddy me through doing the exercises every day. My flatmate is great at this and saves up her most hated studying to do at the time I'm exercising so we can encourage each other


• Giving myself "treats" of various types for surviving and not skipping days, etc.


• Tracking everything on a spreadsheet, which I'm geeky enough to enjoy

It's working for now but, especially as the exercises I'm able to do get more intense and take longer, I think it'll be less and less effective.

The one exercise I have ever really enjoyed doing is swimming. I think a lot of the reason for this is that I abhor the feeling of being sweaty and swimming gets around that neatly :). Anyway, one of my top goals at the moment is to get well enough to do hydrotherapy some days a week.

According to my doctor, water exercises are perfect for my needs, luckily, and there's a pool not TOO far away. Unfortunately, I'm not yet well enough for the travel+changing+swimming+shower+change+travel routine. Part of my self-motivation mind-tricks at the moment is "I'm doing this to help myself get stronger so I can do swimming and not have to do this".

But I really would like to ENJOY doing physical stuff ... or at least, not hate it! It would make the motivation easier and ... well, currently with warming up and cooling off and changing and everything it takes over an hour a day to do it all. I don't want to spend an hour of my very short day[1] doing stuff I hate!

I've tried changing the exercises I do - borrowing a Wii Fit Plus setup from one of my brothers but as I can't yet stand up to exercise I really can't usefully do those exercises. So games are out at the moment, as is dancing for the same reason.

I've tried distracting myself with audio books while I exercise but I have to count repetitions and I can't manage to concentrate on both.

I have put together a music set which has music which is the right speed for my exercises and is music that's cheerful and which I like, but it's a small thing.

I'm working on changing the language I use to talk about my body and about the exercise program, so I'm not constantly telling/reminding myself that I'm physically useless and hate exercise. But that's a fairly long term thing and although I've managed to make some changes in my language (which I think is good in itself) it hasn't resulted yet in any changes in my mindset regarding exercises.

My biggest current limitations about exercises are:

1. I can't stand up for more than a few seconds, so exercises need to be done lying or sitting down (lying down ones are easier). At the moment they're about half and half.


2. My right wrist is permanently messed up, so I can't do anything that requires putting weight/stress on that joint.

I'd very much like suggestions about changing my mindset on this! I'm willing to consider pretty much anything either physical or mental or something I haven't thought of... suggest away!

Cheers,
Ricky

[1] My day actually is short. I have to spend 2-3 hours in the afternoon asleep, as well as about 9-10 hours every night. A good deal of the awake time I'm only "good" for audio books and reading. The time I can actually do active stuff, not counting my exercise time, is about 2 hours a day.

Comments

[lauredhel]

My only thought is - is there any skill you want to learn/improve that your exercise could incorporate into? Like karate punching, or a couple of dance moves, or anything like that?

I used to find exercise-for-exercise's-sake mostly very boring (apart from swimming and some weightlifting), but could train in karate kata for ages, because I was trying to perfect particular movements instead of just doing repetitions of something that felt pointless at the time. I think that part of this might have been the breathing control that went along with it, which, just like swimming, encouraged a more meditative state (as opposed to counting reps which would sort of bounce me out of that mindset).

[jeshyr]

Hrm. When I've advanced a bit more I may very well work on a martial art for the non-aerobic bit of it. Need to be able to reliably stand up though, I suspect, and at the moment they're sitting or lying down things.

I'm thinking Dadi's singing idea is the best for me just at the moment, and keeping my swimming goal in mind.

Thankses.

Love & Hugs,
r

[sheramil]

> luckily, and there's a pool not TOO far away.

*estimates* yeah, you'd just about fit in the boot of my car.

[jeshyr]

*looks suspicious* I might get the seats wet, or what? Because I'm pretty sure I fit in seats too... ;)

Love ya
r

[pauamma]

Nonono. You're supposed to get into your swimming trunks *at* the pool, not to go to the pool in trunks, let alone someone else's. :-)

[dadi]

From past experience after being bedridden for a long time I can only tell you: try to stick with it, as much as you hate it now. The idea of concentrating on something you like more, such as swimming, is a great incentive. After I broke that tendon in my ankle last year, I could not run, and running is essential for my brain chemistry, I need to go on antidepressive medication if I don´t get the running endorphines regularly. So I had to find a way to build up the ankle again after the accident, and subscribed at a local gym. I HATE GYMS. WITH A PASSION. This one was only for women, and most of them were in much worse shape than me, but I still hated it. The whole exercising thing just seems such a waste of time to me, it is boring and annoying. But I concentrated on the fact that after a few months of increasing the exercises and the strength in my ankle, I would be able to run again. And such it was. It took 6 months, but now I am nearly able to run as far as before.
One thing I do when I exercise at home (strenghtening of leg and back muscles): I sing the numbers of the repetitions, inventing funny melodies with them, or singing the numbers on some song I like. With the singing, it gets a bit less annoying, and it has also the effect of strengthening the lungs and the abdominal musculature while doing it!

[jeshyr]

Thanks for the encouragement - I think incentives help a lot, even long-term ones!

The singing is a good idea. Perhaps I should winnow down my exercise music playlist to ones I can sing to? I love singing along with recorded music :)

Hugs & Love,
r

[acelightning]

i hate exercise too. i'd have a lot of trouble re-framing it in any sort of positive context. i also hate getting sweaty, and i might just barely be able to stand doing water exercises... but in my case the nearest pool is at the YMCA, which i'd have to pay to join, and then have a car to drive to. so, yeah, i get it :-(

*hugs*

[jeshyr]

I'll let you know if the re-framing efforts improve things any. I'm going to discuss it with my counsellor tomorrow and see if she has any ideas.

Love & Hugs,
r

[acelightning]

well, don't make too big a deal out of it for my sake - i really don't give a rambling roof rat's round rosy-red rectum about exercise to begin with ;-D

(although if i had a car, and the membership fee, and the sessions weren't being held at some ridiculous hour in the daytime, i might possibly be persuaded to do the "water aerobics for seniors" thing.)

*hugs*

[pauamma]

Hmm. The bulk of my physical activity is walking, and the way I manage to keep doing it is by (as much as possible) walking to where I need to go. Now that is not directly applicable to you, but could something similar work? Say, if your workout routine involves lifting light objects, do it using items that need to be taken from 1 place to another?

[jeshyr]

It's a good idea, but at the moment I can't walk enough to be usefully taking things anywhere - I need to be sitting or lying down for all of my exercises or I get too faint :( I'm certainly going to be doing useful stuff for exercise as soon as I can though (along with swimming, which is fun)!

Lovee & Hugs,
r

[mathsnerd]

Heh. I would give you great advice if I had any, but, erm, the truth is, I haven't done my physio in two weeks? Three? Haven't told my therapists either. I just don't have the proper motivation, so I'm afraid I don't have any helpful tips to motivate you. :/

I do have snuggles and cuddles though! *curls up on her Ricky and nuzzles and cuddles and purrs loudly*

[jeshyr]

*snugs* to you too, my love. I totally need an extra kitten just now, Anekin is angry because I let a D-O-G visit today!

I promise to do as you say, not as you do, with regards to physio.

Love & Hugs,
r

[dragonsally]

Oh god, I forgot to tell you I couldn't make it today. Sorry honey.

What are the exercises you're doing? This inquiring mind would like to know.

[jeshyr]

It's Ok, I forgot you'd said you were coming! *hugs*

If you want the whole exercise list I'll email it to you, but it's quite long and propably fairly cryptic to anybody who's not me ... want it?

r

[dragonsally]

That would be good - yes please.

Via the network, hoping that's okay

[rydra_wong]

The thing that's made exercise finally make sense for me (after decades of avoiding it with fear and loathing) has been finding forms of exercise that are interesting and engage my mind, and that build more of a mind-body connection.

(For me, the revelatory thing was rock climbing, but there are a lot of far less strenuous possibilities *g*.)

Getting that connection has motivated me to do the tedious and repetitive forms of exercise too, because the increased body awareness makes it more interesting, and I can feel that it's working to support the things that I really want to do (it's like oh, this is the muscle which does that when I make this move when I'm climbing). And my body feels more like part of me, so it feels natural to want to move my body around just as I want to think and explore intellectually.

Off the top of my head, tai chi and/or yoga might be good options for you.

I know there are sitting versions of tai chi, and my sister did it while severely ill with chronic fatigue syndrome and found it useful. Yoga has a huge number of poses that can be done sitting or lying down, and whole systems of gentle "restorative" yoga designed to help the body recover from stress. I've found yoga very helpful as a way of getting "into" my body.

Re: Via the network, hoping that's okay

[ladyrelaynie]

Yay! I'm really happy for you Ricky. I swim for exercise (I have fibro) and my parents bought me a pool for the backyard so I don't have to drive. Any chance of that happening for you? Mine is only about 3 feet high, but it's enough water to sit in and through.

Do you like bouncy balls? You could do that sitting or lying, and it would be a good arm workout.

[thorfinn]

Singing is pretty good as a very mild exercise, and it's definitely helpful at keeping things aerobic. It's very easy to forget to breathe properly whilst exercising, which will result in crappy exercise.

I'm not sure how focused you are on the relation between food types, eat timing and exercise yet, but there is a significant one.

It may or may not be relevant to your situation, but I wrote some years ago now about Human Biochemistry, the basics as relating to dieting. It's not as well written as I'd like nowadays, but it's still pretty accurate, and most of the stuff I've been seeing in actual science journalism about food and exercise (as opposed to pop-diet "advice") is continuing to confirm it.

[kitsune]

Any further suggestions I might've made have already been covered above, but you have encouragement from this corner, too. Go you!

(Also, I've never considered the "my day is very short" thing in quite those terms, although it looks like I need slightly more sleep than you to achieve my current function levels. I shall have to think about that re-framing a little more...)

[cedar51.livejournal.com]

I haven't read all the replies

but maybe you should change your mindset to 'make yourself think' you are actually standing up even though you are mostly horizontal on bed

forget that you are lying on the bed - think of yourself upright

moving in time to the music - upright.

or that the bed is the other lazy person, just lying there not doing anything you say "don't just lie there, see how I'm doing it so can you" - say it in your head you if it makes you feel stupid.

so that means you will have to will the bed to follow your moves...just remember that you are both upright

ok...take no notice if you think this weird and it's alright, I tied to this here chair :-)