Talking is hard ... sometimes

[jeshyr]

I can talk just fine. I babble an absolute ton when I have the energy to do it!

But when I get tired it gets harder and harder … it’s not that I can’t talk, it’s that instead of pulling words off the tip of the tounge I have to trek over to the nearest mental fishing hole, set up my mental fishing rod and bait the mental hook and sit there until I metaphorically 'catch' the word I want, then mentally trek back to the conversation I’m trying to have and THEN I can say it. The amount of energy it takes to "fetch" a word goes up as my total amount of available energy goes down, so the net effect is that I get quieter and quieter and quieter as my energy goes down.

I just wanted to share this because I wrote the above paragraph in email and it's one of those things I occasionally try to describe to people and - usually - fail utterly and I really like this description. So saving for posterity :)

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Comments

[acelightning]

oh, i understand! i recently went through an experience that was both emotionally and physically very stressful(*), and i found myself fishing for words (yup, that's exactly what it feels like!) more and more. i was afraid that this aphasia would keep getting worse, which at my age could indicate any number of extremely unpleasant things. but Alex, who knows more about medical stuff in general than i do, pointed out how stressed i was, and told me not to worry. and by now it's mostly gone away, and i can talk normally, without having to fish for... um... oh yeah, words.

(*) emotional - pagan politics and history; physical - un-air-conditioned location, being forced to be awake in the daytime, and falling several times on short sets of rain-slick raw wood stairs.

[jeshyr]

The trouble with "why can't you talk?" is that people only ever ask me WHEN I CAN'T TALK!

So yeah, once I figured out a metaphor I thought recording it for posterity would be useful :)

For RL I also have a bunch of Stick Man Commuknication cards on an extendable keyring. I hardly ever use them but I cart them around when I'm out at things like medical appointments that may force me to stay up way past my tolerance level. My favourite one says "My ability to speak coherently is temporarily missing. Please try later." which makes people laugh and relax, both things I appreciate :)

Unrelatedly, I have her THIS WAY UP sticker on the back of my power chair and it is such a great conversation starter - people crack up and start chatting! WIN!

[acelightning]

i could use some of those myself! especially "severe heat intolerance"... except it doesn't mention my two most troublesome symptoms: getting sick, and being unable to stop crying. and "severe heat", for me, is anything over 23° C. (i'm uncomfortable above 20° C, but i can stand it for short periods of time.) i also like the concept of "differently normal", in general - see userpic :-)

[jesse_the_k]

You have exactly described my own communication fatigue. I never called this aphasia because I thought aphasia was faster than this. Just yesterday it took a minute to get a sentence out. At that rate I often can't remember what the earlier words were, or the impetus to speak in the first place.

The Stickman Conversation cards are brilliant! Thanks for