Status

[jeshyr]

The IV saline seems to be helping ... last week was undeniably the best week I have had for more than a year which was glorious.

I feel crappy today though, which reminds me how exhausting the roller-coaster of "daring to hope" can be. Here's to feeling better tomorrow ...

I said to one of my friends tonight "pray for me", which made me think. Both of us are athiests, and yet telling folks to send good thoughts or think of me or pray or light a candle or whatever makes me feel better. Odd, isn't it? Psychology is crazycakes sometimes. I have no delusions that there is any effect except the psychological placebo of knowing that somebody cares for me, but it definitely makes me feel better to do so.


Asma and I spoke to a disability planning woman a few weeks back and she mentioned to me that the idea that I could possibly have a built-for-me house one day was not out of the question, given certain funding that's sometimes available for social housing for severely disabled folks. At the moment it's only marginally more likely than everybody's favourite "what would I do if I won a million dollars in lotto" fantasy, but the idea has of course lodged in my head and generated a veritable mountain of ideas... because that's what my head does. And so now I have a document that will probably never get used, and even if the home does happen one day it's probably completely impractical, but just in case I have documented my love of such oddments as rain chains, espalier fruit trees, cork flooring, smurf tubing conduit, solatube-style skylights, not-so-big houses, and closets with electrical sockets in them. The full document is embarrassingly lengthy and includes some items which are mutually exclusive, but my brain is happy with the fact that I have now decanted most of my home design/decoration ideas into the computer and is letting me rest a bit from the effort.

Come to think of it, that's probably contributing a bit to the psychological rollercoaster feeling too ...

Comments

[vass]

knowing that somebody cares for me

I firmly believe that this is one of the most important and scarce resources in the world.

I just lit this for you.

[feyandstrange]

I am an atheist with some spiritual leanings who totally supports science and reason. It gets complicated. I believe that spiritual practice, community formed around rituals, etc are super important to us, psychologically, and can really help us. Confuses a lot of people.

Sending you hope for scientific miracles and strength. Go go saline!

Rain chains! I love those. No place to put one in a condo with no balcony, but I love them. The Japanese hardware store sells them and sometimes I go and look. I have a semi-realistic dream house plan myself, somewhere...

[ashi]

Thinking of you and sending a prayer out too. I love the house idea.

[acelightning]

you know that i am both a Priestess and an agnostic, and i don't find any contradiction in that. i don't "pray" - that is, i don't pester a Deity about what i want done. instead, i try to influence the energy of the cosmos myself, to change things in the direction i desire. that's the classic definition of "magick": "the art of causing change in accordance with will". and that's what i do for you, at random intervals and in a variety of ways. (remember the book of healing meditations i once put together for you? that's another way to do magick - to work on changing yourself by focusing your energy upon the desired results.) currently, what i've been doing is, every time i read your journal, or see your name come up somewhere, or otherwise think about you, i sort of mentally poke the universe and say, "i want my friend ricky to get better! it's just not FAIR that she's been so sick for so long! so when i poke here (*poke*), i intend for healing energy to pop up over there, right where ricky is!" (*pokes* the universe again, for good measure)

i've been doing a lot of reconstruction, of course, since Superstorm Sandy - not actual construction (there was that, but the landlord just tore out the walls, floors, and kitchen cabinets that were ruined by the floodwater and put in exact or nearly-exact replacements), but thinking about how the spaces are used, and making the most effective use of them i can. i've also discovered that i seem to have somewhat of a flair for interior decorating, which surprises me. (i've got to take some pictures, and post "before" and "after" to my journals!) if i ever find myself having a house built, i'll definitely consider putting in the "smurf tubes" for LV wiring of all sorts. and it make absolutely perfect sense to me to have electrical outlets in closets - you might want to plug in anything from a phone charger, to a wheelchair charger, to a dehumidifier, to a small refrigerator, to a file server! i also like the Solatube idea, at least for the "public" parts of the house. (i thought i liked the solar-powered attic fans, but then i realized that the attic still gets hot even when it's dark.)

i hope that the saline treatments continue to make you feel better (*poke*), and i hope you do get your dream house someday!

*hugs*, love, and magic...