Treading Water

[jeshyr]

Wow, long time no write ... I've been feeling a bit like I'm treading water lately and feeling a bit down about it. I was thinking about this the other day and realised something. Here's a list of things which have happened in the past 8 weeks, give or take, with people I know:

• My current flatmate has got her drivers' license and is beginning car purchase investigations


• One of my brothers announced his wife is pregnant with their first child (which will be my first niece/nephew)


• A different brother and his wife started looking at buying a house


• My unrelated-Aunty's first grandson has been born


• Some of my longest friends have announced they're starting to try for kids


• A different close friend has bought a block of land and is going to build a house there

... and I keep getting emails and paper mail and stuff reminding me that this year is my 20th high school reunion. I would defy anybody, average or unaverage, not to feel a bit like a non-achiever when surrounded by all this activity!

I can't really control too much that I feel left behind - in a lot of ways it IS true - but not beating myself up about it is definitely something under my control. Realising how much "milestone achievement" has been surrounding me lately is helping me be a lot more gentle with myself.

Hugs,
r

Comments

[acelightning]

there are other ways to make one's mark in the world besides having a car, a house, and children; i don't know whether you're aware of how many people all over the world (well, in the US and the UK, anyway) have found your material about disabled persons' rights useful, and perhaps even "inspiring". (i've even referred back to some of it myself, when i find myself uncharacteristically running out of spoons.)

you're not a conventionally successful conventional person; so what - you're an unconventionally successful one-and-only ricky!

*hugs*

[jeshyr]

*hugs* Yeah, I totally TOTALLY agree that I do heaps of stuff and I am successful by many many measures ... it's just that the stuff I do doesn't lend itself to one-sentence descriptions or even mostly one-paragraph descriptions and it doesn't fit society's "standard" stuff. I totally TOTALLY believe that society's "standard" model is flawed beyond belief and all that, it's just that it's what's thrown at us day in day out and sometimes it gets in my head y'know??

Thanks :) Love you.

[acelightning]

you will always be my favo(u)rite penguin ;-)

apropos of nothing in particular... one of my wheelchair-using friends posted this in her LiveJournal - they do seem to ship internationally, although they're a bit pricey. but she points out that it ought not to be too difficult to make something of the sort oneself, for a lot less money.

*hugs* and love

[(Anonymous)]

Ricky

I know what you mean totally - and I'm sorry that you're facing a barage of it. This is something that I think about at least a couple of times a year.

I think you're mourning the loss of the opportunities that you don't have anymore. And unfortunately these "reminders" will come back again :-(

Be easy and gentle with yourself Ricky

y0landa

[jeshyr]

I think mourning is a very appropriate word, and yes t is cyclic. I'm doing pretty good at being gentle with myself, thanks!

[sheramil]

You're alive.

you win.

that's the standard. the rest is just window dressing.

--
Try that on your pianola.
- Rev.Dr. Hal Robbins

[acelightning]

as i said to someone on LiveJournal, who was bitching about living in an under-maintained apartment, and not having managed to win the affection of someone she'd been pursuing for years (heh)...

"You have shelter, even if it's not ideal, and you have clothes to wear. You have enough to eat, and an endless supply of clean water. You have friends who care about your well-being. You have a cat. And you don't have cancer."

she had to agree that her life wasn't so bad after all.