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The IV saline seems to be helping ... last week was undeniably the best week I have had for more than a year which was glorious.
I feel crappy today though, which reminds me how exhausting the roller-coaster of "daring to hope" can be. Here's to feeling better tomorrow ...
I said to one of my friends tonight "pray for me", which made me think. Both of us are athiests, and yet telling folks to send good thoughts or think of me or pray or light a candle or whatever makes me feel better. Odd, isn't it? Psychology is crazycakes sometimes. I have no delusions that there is any effect except the psychological placebo of knowing that somebody cares for me, but it definitely makes me feel better to do so.
Asma and I spoke to a disability planning woman a few weeks back and she mentioned to me that the idea that I could possibly have a built-for-me house one day was not out of the question, given certain funding that's sometimes available for social housing for severely disabled folks. At the moment it's only marginally more likely than everybody's favourite "what would I do if I won a million dollars in lotto" fantasy, but the idea has of course lodged in my head and generated a veritable mountain of ideas... because that's what my head does. And so now I have a document that will probably never get used, and even if the home does happen one day it's probably completely impractical, but just in case I have documented my love of such oddments as rain chains, espalier fruit trees, cork flooring, smurf tubing conduit, solatube-style skylights, not-so-big houses, and closets with electrical sockets in them. The full document is embarrassingly lengthy and includes some items which are mutually exclusive, but my brain is happy with the fact that I have now decanted most of my home design/decoration ideas into the computer and is letting me rest a bit from the effort.
Come to think of it, that's probably contributing a bit to the psychological rollercoaster feeling too ...
I feel crappy today though, which reminds me how exhausting the roller-coaster of "daring to hope" can be. Here's to feeling better tomorrow ...
I said to one of my friends tonight "pray for me", which made me think. Both of us are athiests, and yet telling folks to send good thoughts or think of me or pray or light a candle or whatever makes me feel better. Odd, isn't it? Psychology is crazycakes sometimes. I have no delusions that there is any effect except the psychological placebo of knowing that somebody cares for me, but it definitely makes me feel better to do so.
Asma and I spoke to a disability planning woman a few weeks back and she mentioned to me that the idea that I could possibly have a built-for-me house one day was not out of the question, given certain funding that's sometimes available for social housing for severely disabled folks. At the moment it's only marginally more likely than everybody's favourite "what would I do if I won a million dollars in lotto" fantasy, but the idea has of course lodged in my head and generated a veritable mountain of ideas... because that's what my head does. And so now I have a document that will probably never get used, and even if the home does happen one day it's probably completely impractical, but just in case I have documented my love of such oddments as rain chains, espalier fruit trees, cork flooring, smurf tubing conduit, solatube-style skylights, not-so-big houses, and closets with electrical sockets in them. The full document is embarrassingly lengthy and includes some items which are mutually exclusive, but my brain is happy with the fact that I have now decanted most of my home design/decoration ideas into the computer and is letting me rest a bit from the effort.
Come to think of it, that's probably contributing a bit to the psychological rollercoaster feeling too ...
