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Lost Opportunities ...
Mar. 31st, 2013 07:06 pmI'm watching a documentary about the IBM "Watson" computer that was on Jeopardy. It's a very good documentary, I think, and interesting to watch, but it's making me oh so very sad about all the things I haven't been able to do because I've been sick.
My undergraduate degree was in artificial intelligence, basically - double major in computer science and linguistics with a minor in philosophy. I very very much wanted to work on machine understanding of text, so this is exactly the sort of project I would have adored.
There are tons of things I've done that I wolud never have done if I'd been well, but lost opportunities still blindside me with the pain.
My friends have been having kids lately, too, and that's especially hard to deal with. Whenever the people around me achieve things in the general category of "major life goals" or "major life achievements" it hurts - when they graduated from University, when they all started buying houses, when they get great jobs and promotions, when they get married, when they have kids. I'm pleased for them of course, but sad for me too ... so many "what might have been"s.
Maudlin tonight - don't worry, I lowered my anti-depressant dose and it always makes me mood-swing-ish for a week or so. I know from experience that I'll feel better in the morning.
Love
r
My undergraduate degree was in artificial intelligence, basically - double major in computer science and linguistics with a minor in philosophy. I very very much wanted to work on machine understanding of text, so this is exactly the sort of project I would have adored.
There are tons of things I've done that I wolud never have done if I'd been well, but lost opportunities still blindside me with the pain.
My friends have been having kids lately, too, and that's especially hard to deal with. Whenever the people around me achieve things in the general category of "major life goals" or "major life achievements" it hurts - when they graduated from University, when they all started buying houses, when they get great jobs and promotions, when they get married, when they have kids. I'm pleased for them of course, but sad for me too ... so many "what might have been"s.
Maudlin tonight - don't worry, I lowered my anti-depressant dose and it always makes me mood-swing-ish for a week or so. I know from experience that I'll feel better in the morning.
Love
r
