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Jan. 18th, 2017

jeshyr: Flying penguin (Penguin Flying)
On the 18th of January 1997 I wrote my first ever blog entry. This was it:

"Dammit, I'm too sick to write any more of this now. I wanted to start, but it'll have to be later on or tomorrow. I will though. I promised myself."

It seems pretty apt, therefore, that I've been too tired to write anything much for today either. The more things change the more they stay the same!

I'm listed on the Online Diary History Project as the 21st internet blogger. I started my blog on Tertius.net.au on a hand-coded site (later I wrote my own scripts to automate some of it), then on LiveJournal, then I moved to Dreamwidth where I am still very happy.

I was going to try to write some things that have changed in 20 years but hell ... I was 21 and now I'm 41 - everything has changed! At that point I'd only been sick just over two years so all my doctors - and me - fully expected that I'd get over things and get back to my "real" life. That being sick was somehow an aberration and in 20 years I'd look back at that very odd time I spent a few years unable to do stuff. Now ... well, I don't rule out the possibility that either I might spontaneously recover or that medicine might catch up enough find a way to make me function again ... but if either of those things happen I'd class them under "happy miracle". I think the most likely possibility is that I'll be bedridden for the rest of my life.

And ... well, I don't want to be bedridden of course. I don't want to be sick at all. I don't want to hurt or feel crappy or miss out on stuff. But on another level it's OK, I can do this. I've done this for 20 years, and it bets the shit out of being dead! I've had a lot of friends die over the past 20 years, people who I'll never get to talk to or see or hug again, and it really makes me appreciate having the chance to be alive. If the only way I get to be alive is to be bedridden, then I'll do it. If nothing else I've been a science fiction fan all my life - I always want to find out what happens next.

Here's to several more sets of 20 years :)

Love you all,

There is one thing I'm going to change: I'll be posting things mostly friends-only after this I think. So if you're reading this and I haven't given you access either on DW or LiveJournal then let me know and I'll rectify that.


jeshyr: Blessed are the broken. Harry Potter. (Default)
Ricky Buchanan