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35 Gifts: Days 7 and 8
Jan. 7th, 2010 11:25 pmMik stayed here yesterday and left today to go back to Canberra. It was great having him here, the company was a real gift to me and he also expressed how much he enjoyed being with me. I really love that he's happy to bring his laptop into the room where I am and we can just both work and be with with only occasional/minimal talking. It's not exhausting to me like having visitors is, and it's hard to find people who are OK just being with without feeling they have to talk all the time. My old flatmate used to do it sometimes (although not as much as I'd've liked), but the new one doesn't do it at all and I am really sad about that.
Yesterday Mik brought Liz (who I know but haven't seen for about a decade) and Maia (who I hadn't really met before and have probably spelt wrongly) over late in the evening. I was very iffy about saying "yes" that they could visit so late but it turned out to be wonderful and low key and not stressy and it was so so SO good both to see Liz and reconnect and to meet a new person. And I was able to gift them both with keychains, so I felt very happy. I told them about the project and how I wanted to transform my feelings about my 35th birthday into happy ones and they seemed to understand which was great.
Mik left this afternoon and I miss him already. His presence made the house feel different even though he had to work most of the time we got to have some great discusions. I tried to just listen when he needed it and I think I did OK - that was another gift I wanted to give him, to just be able to say whatever without being judged either way. Just to be heard.
I have been gifting my angel of a cat, Anekin, with many extra cuddles recently. Not just project-wise, but I can see he's starting to get old and a little arthritic now and he's going to turn 10 in April. I'm seem to have suddenly realised he won't be with me for the infinite future and it's frightening. He's such a special cat and was gifted to my by such a unique process that I doubt will ever be repeated. I'm mostly reminding myself that Burmese cats, especially mostly-indoor cats like Ani, usually live a lot longer than 10 years and that he's not going anyplace soon and don't think about the rest. I have enough trouble without borrowing it!
I have gifted a special secret present for my brother's engagement gift on the weekend. I won't be able to be there of course but Mum and Dad turned up today to pick it up (and visit me) and were able to transport it home. I forgot to take a picture but Mum has kindly taken one and emailed it and I promise to post it - and the story of how it came to be - after the weekend once the recipients have seen it. I hope they get a good laugh out of it.
I withdrew the US$110 that I had sitting in my Kiva.org account because of loan repayments, to find at the end of the process the lovely message that my withdrawal would be processed in 1-3 weeks! This seems really excessively slow to me, which makes me even more frustrated with Kiva. Somebody asked when I posted about switching my loaning from Kiva to United Prosperity what my problem with Kiva was - it's partly that they've switched their mission from alleviating "extreme poverty" to alleviating "poverty" which does not match what I want to do, partly that they are lending money to people in first world countries which is pretty much contrary to their originally stated aims (and to what I want to do), and partly that as United Prosperity uses the loan money as guarantee money rather than as direct funds to microlenders I believe that my small amount of money will do more good there. I don't think Kiva are evil or anything - they obviously do a lot of good for a lot of people. I just choose to help do my good in other ways now. I am frustrating about the "1-3 weeks" my withdrawal will take though, that really seems like they're just hanging into my money and the few microcents of interest they can make on it for a few more weeks which reinforces my wish to go elsewhere. It's a very bad almost-last impression to leave.
I have been trying to gift myself with more non-computer time, whether it's in the early mornings or at other times. It's been nice and something I very much want to keep up with. It's tough though with the internet hitting that reward center in my brain so often! Must keep reminding myself how much I enjoy non-computer time.
My friend Em also came to visit today which was fantastic - I really enjoy spending time with her, and it's very relaxing. We have resolved that once her schedule has settled down she'll come over and have dinner once a week, which is a gift for both of us I think. She lives alone and she's my friend and we enjoy just being together, and I love having her here as she's generally a low-stress person for me to have around.
I am sorting through the myriad of click-to-give websites around to see which seem legitimate and worthwhile. Some, when you read the fine print, are very misleading which makes me frustrated.
I have felt much better today - pretty much back to my pre-Christmas self except for a persistently sore neck which my massage therapist (and a lot of ibruprofen!) is working on steadily. I was able to do my pre-Christmas amount of exercise without any bad effects which is good. Hopefully now I can get back to doing both the physical and mental exercise (scrabble, Free Rice, and coding) consistently again.
I have finally ordered some wall stickers that I've been coveting for a long time. I saw the Fun Play Dream Laugh stickers early last year I think, and I immediately wanted a set done for my own four focus words: Joyful, Serene, Evolving, Fulfilled[*]. I've had those words on my wall as part of my photo board for several years, but now most of the posters have been taken down they're not there. I've finally ordered them and I approved the art today, so I should have those just in time for my birthday which seems right and proper.
In other, perhaps surprising news, I've asked a friend to do a full astrology reading for me. The odd part about this is that I don't actually believe in astrology in the usual sense of the word. I believe in it the same way I believe in Tarot cards: That they are a great way to get one's semiconscious/subconscious thoughts to surface by doing semi-free association. But somehow this feels like a Good Thing to do for myself at this point, so a week from today I'll have that done. I'm looking forward to it.
I've got to agree with others who have done this 29 Gifts type journey about the way it changes one's outlook. Looking around so constantly for ways to gift to others has really got inside my head and it's only been a week ... I hope these changes persist and grow. I feel now like my 35th birthday could be a real turning point for the better in my life - physically and emotionally and mentally all three.
Hugs,
Ricky
[*] Some of you may have noticed me using the nickname "Jeshyr" around the place. It comes from those four words and two more - Hopeful and Resilient. The "y" is for Fulfilled because there was no way I could make a pronouncable name out of the six initials otherwise! So we have Joyful/Evolving/Serene/Hopeful/Fulfilled/Resilient = Jeshyr. I'm very fond of that name.
Yesterday Mik brought Liz (who I know but haven't seen for about a decade) and Maia (who I hadn't really met before and have probably spelt wrongly) over late in the evening. I was very iffy about saying "yes" that they could visit so late but it turned out to be wonderful and low key and not stressy and it was so so SO good both to see Liz and reconnect and to meet a new person. And I was able to gift them both with keychains, so I felt very happy. I told them about the project and how I wanted to transform my feelings about my 35th birthday into happy ones and they seemed to understand which was great.
Mik left this afternoon and I miss him already. His presence made the house feel different even though he had to work most of the time we got to have some great discusions. I tried to just listen when he needed it and I think I did OK - that was another gift I wanted to give him, to just be able to say whatever without being judged either way. Just to be heard.
I have been gifting my angel of a cat, Anekin, with many extra cuddles recently. Not just project-wise, but I can see he's starting to get old and a little arthritic now and he's going to turn 10 in April. I'm seem to have suddenly realised he won't be with me for the infinite future and it's frightening. He's such a special cat and was gifted to my by such a unique process that I doubt will ever be repeated. I'm mostly reminding myself that Burmese cats, especially mostly-indoor cats like Ani, usually live a lot longer than 10 years and that he's not going anyplace soon and don't think about the rest. I have enough trouble without borrowing it!
I have gifted a special secret present for my brother's engagement gift on the weekend. I won't be able to be there of course but Mum and Dad turned up today to pick it up (and visit me) and were able to transport it home. I forgot to take a picture but Mum has kindly taken one and emailed it and I promise to post it - and the story of how it came to be - after the weekend once the recipients have seen it. I hope they get a good laugh out of it.
I withdrew the US$110 that I had sitting in my Kiva.org account because of loan repayments, to find at the end of the process the lovely message that my withdrawal would be processed in 1-3 weeks! This seems really excessively slow to me, which makes me even more frustrated with Kiva. Somebody asked when I posted about switching my loaning from Kiva to United Prosperity what my problem with Kiva was - it's partly that they've switched their mission from alleviating "extreme poverty" to alleviating "poverty" which does not match what I want to do, partly that they are lending money to people in first world countries which is pretty much contrary to their originally stated aims (and to what I want to do), and partly that as United Prosperity uses the loan money as guarantee money rather than as direct funds to microlenders I believe that my small amount of money will do more good there. I don't think Kiva are evil or anything - they obviously do a lot of good for a lot of people. I just choose to help do my good in other ways now. I am frustrating about the "1-3 weeks" my withdrawal will take though, that really seems like they're just hanging into my money and the few microcents of interest they can make on it for a few more weeks which reinforces my wish to go elsewhere. It's a very bad almost-last impression to leave.
I have been trying to gift myself with more non-computer time, whether it's in the early mornings or at other times. It's been nice and something I very much want to keep up with. It's tough though with the internet hitting that reward center in my brain so often! Must keep reminding myself how much I enjoy non-computer time.
My friend Em also came to visit today which was fantastic - I really enjoy spending time with her, and it's very relaxing. We have resolved that once her schedule has settled down she'll come over and have dinner once a week, which is a gift for both of us I think. She lives alone and she's my friend and we enjoy just being together, and I love having her here as she's generally a low-stress person for me to have around.
I am sorting through the myriad of click-to-give websites around to see which seem legitimate and worthwhile. Some, when you read the fine print, are very misleading which makes me frustrated.
I have felt much better today - pretty much back to my pre-Christmas self except for a persistently sore neck which my massage therapist (and a lot of ibruprofen!) is working on steadily. I was able to do my pre-Christmas amount of exercise without any bad effects which is good. Hopefully now I can get back to doing both the physical and mental exercise (scrabble, Free Rice, and coding) consistently again.
I have finally ordered some wall stickers that I've been coveting for a long time. I saw the Fun Play Dream Laugh stickers early last year I think, and I immediately wanted a set done for my own four focus words: Joyful, Serene, Evolving, Fulfilled[*]. I've had those words on my wall as part of my photo board for several years, but now most of the posters have been taken down they're not there. I've finally ordered them and I approved the art today, so I should have those just in time for my birthday which seems right and proper.
In other, perhaps surprising news, I've asked a friend to do a full astrology reading for me. The odd part about this is that I don't actually believe in astrology in the usual sense of the word. I believe in it the same way I believe in Tarot cards: That they are a great way to get one's semiconscious/subconscious thoughts to surface by doing semi-free association. But somehow this feels like a Good Thing to do for myself at this point, so a week from today I'll have that done. I'm looking forward to it.
I've got to agree with others who have done this 29 Gifts type journey about the way it changes one's outlook. Looking around so constantly for ways to gift to others has really got inside my head and it's only been a week ... I hope these changes persist and grow. I feel now like my 35th birthday could be a real turning point for the better in my life - physically and emotionally and mentally all three.
Hugs,
Ricky
[*] Some of you may have noticed me using the nickname "Jeshyr" around the place. It comes from those four words and two more - Hopeful and Resilient. The "y" is for Fulfilled because there was no way I could make a pronouncable name out of the six initials otherwise! So we have Joyful/Evolving/Serene/Hopeful/Fulfilled/Resilient = Jeshyr. I'm very fond of that name.
