(no subject)
Nov. 28th, 2025 12:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maju22. What questions do you often ask yourself? How would my life have turned out if I'd made different choices at various points in my life.
23. What are you an expert at? I'm quite a good knitter and seamstress, but I don't know that I'd put myself at expert level.
24. How would an extra $1000 a month change your life? It might help me feel more relaxed about money, but possibly not. I'm lucky enough at this point to have enough for my needs for now and into the future.
25. What things in life should always be free? Education, healthcare.
26. What is your favorite time of the year? Autumn.
27. What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid? To be able to roller skate.
28. What is the most recent dream you remember having while sleeping? I remember that I've had a couple of vivid dreams lately, but now I can't remember what they were about.
23. What are you an expert at? I'm quite a good knitter and seamstress, but I don't know that I'd put myself at expert level.
24. How would an extra $1000 a month change your life? It might help me feel more relaxed about money, but possibly not. I'm lucky enough at this point to have enough for my needs for now and into the future.
25. What things in life should always be free? Education, healthcare.
26. What is your favorite time of the year? Autumn.
27. What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid? To be able to roller skate.
28. What is the most recent dream you remember having while sleeping? I remember that I've had a couple of vivid dreams lately, but now I can't remember what they were about.
(no subject)
Nov. 28th, 2025 12:27 pmmajuOn Wednesday my real estate agent let me know that the repairs and painting inside the house had been done, plus he had personally painted the white parts ot the outside of the house (i.e. the two long sides). He sent a video of a walk-through inside the house and everything looks amazing, but he also sent a photo of the outside and he has chosen to paint the formerly white sides a dark grey, which I think looks horrible. (And my daughter agrees with me.) The colour doesn't really go well with the lightish red bricks on the end wall which faces the street. However, I've noticed that grey is a popular colour for houses recently, and at least it doesn't look dingy and shabby like it did before. He is waiting for professional photos of the house which he hopes will be delivered today, and then he will list the house. He is hoping to have an open house on Sunday.
My son in law has been trying to get an old Mac computer to work so he can set up Violet and Eden with free Duolingo accounts because Eden wants to learn Italian and Violet wants to learn Spanish. He just wants a computer with nothing distracting on it, and he does not want them using one of his computers. On the way home last night he was talking about this and I suddenly remembered I've got an old but almost unused 15 inch Chromebook which I was regretting not sending off to the electronics recycling place, so I told him I would let him have it for the girls to do Duolingo on. I reset the Chromebook to factory settings so any of my data is gone and it's basically bare, and he has set it up with separate user accounts for each girl. He says it's perfect because there is nothing distracting on it. Also it's heavy and he will keep it in his office for them to use. There will be no carrying it around to different parts of the house and using it unsupervised.
I didn't sleep well last night, or at least, I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep, and I woke up with a slight headache this morning. I was determined to go for a walk because walking usually helps get rid of a headache, so I went out around 9:45 am when the temperature was about 3C/37F. That was what the thermometer said, but there was a brisk cold breeze and I'm sure the wind chill factor was below freezing. I managed to keep warm enough by walking briskly, and my headache has gone.
A funny story about Aria: last night my daughter was talking about cutting Aria's toenails while she was asleep, which apparently Aria didn't want to happen. A bit later this happened:
Aria: Can I wear footy pyjamas to bed?
Mummy: Of course you can.
Aria (getting into the pjs): now you won't be able to cut my toenails.
My son in law has been trying to get an old Mac computer to work so he can set up Violet and Eden with free Duolingo accounts because Eden wants to learn Italian and Violet wants to learn Spanish. He just wants a computer with nothing distracting on it, and he does not want them using one of his computers. On the way home last night he was talking about this and I suddenly remembered I've got an old but almost unused 15 inch Chromebook which I was regretting not sending off to the electronics recycling place, so I told him I would let him have it for the girls to do Duolingo on. I reset the Chromebook to factory settings so any of my data is gone and it's basically bare, and he has set it up with separate user accounts for each girl. He says it's perfect because there is nothing distracting on it. Also it's heavy and he will keep it in his office for them to use. There will be no carrying it around to different parts of the house and using it unsupervised.
I didn't sleep well last night, or at least, I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep, and I woke up with a slight headache this morning. I was determined to go for a walk because walking usually helps get rid of a headache, so I went out around 9:45 am when the temperature was about 3C/37F. That was what the thermometer said, but there was a brisk cold breeze and I'm sure the wind chill factor was below freezing. I managed to keep warm enough by walking briskly, and my headache has gone.
A funny story about Aria: last night my daughter was talking about cutting Aria's toenails while she was asleep, which apparently Aria didn't want to happen. A bit later this happened:
Aria: Can I wear footy pyjamas to bed?
Mummy: Of course you can.
Aria (getting into the pjs): now you won't be able to cut my toenails.
I miss my clothes
Nov. 28th, 2025 07:53 amsusandennisBefore I moved in here, I tossed (donated or just tossed) about half or more of all my shit. It was wonderful to purge all that stuff. I have never regretted any of it EXCEPT. I also purged about half my clothes. And I picked the wrong half. I really miss all the clothes I made for myself. I sometimes fantasize about buying a sewing machine and making some more. But there is no place here to do it without upending my house which I don't want to do and I have plenty of clothes. I don't need more. And 14 other very good reasons not to. So I just miss the ones that got away.
Yesterday was fine. I worked on the puzzle for a bit so saw some people in passing but mostly stayed in here and enjoyed a quiet day watching the latest season of Slow Horses.
I have bought a couple of Black Friday things - plenty - and don't need more so today will likely be a lot like yesterday which is fine and dandy.
I do have one tech project to do. I need to move a hub that controls all my switches. I think I can do it with shit I have on hand which means I can do it today and without buying anything else. It should be easy with a minimum off 'SHIT!' and 'fuck'. Or not.
But, first, I think I'll go swim some laps.
Yesterday was fine. I worked on the puzzle for a bit so saw some people in passing but mostly stayed in here and enjoyed a quiet day watching the latest season of Slow Horses.
I have bought a couple of Black Friday things - plenty - and don't need more so today will likely be a lot like yesterday which is fine and dandy.
I do have one tech project to do. I need to move a hub that controls all my switches. I think I can do it with shit I have on hand which means I can do it today and without buying anything else. It should be easy with a minimum off 'SHIT!' and 'fuck'. Or not.
But, first, I think I'll go swim some laps.
James and the Commute Home
Nov. 28th, 2025 09:19 amjames_davis_nicollWell, that was more close brushes with performing CPR than I consider ideal for a commute...
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
The Gods Below (Hollow Covenant, volume 1) by Andrea Stewart
Nov. 28th, 2025 08:58 amjames_davis_nicoll
Two sisters, separated during calamity, join opposing sides of a divine war.
The Gods Below (Hollow Covenant, volume 1) by Andrea Stewart
umadoshiA day off without sleeping in at all feels so expansive! (scruloose had to be out a bit early all this week, so I've been getting up a bit earlier too to do my supervision part of the clowder's breakfast routine.) But I took the day off mainly to try to get some manga work done, so going back to bed after that seemed counterproductive. Somehow it's not even 10 AM yet? Incredible. (Could I have used the sleep, though? Oh yes.)
Happy day-after-Thanksgiving to the USians* observing this emotionally-complex holiday. I enjoy the food chatter from afar. Someone on a cooking feed on Bluesky posted about doing a stuffing flight, and now I really want a stuffing flight, although the specific types they'd made didn't sing to me. ^^;
*I've been seeing the edges of Discourse about this term on Bluesky, and several people complained about the pronunciation/having no good pronunciation options, which made me realize that to me it's strictly a term for writing, not saying. It works fine visually. *shrugs*
First Yule scent of the year: But Men Loved Darkness Better Than Light (2009 vintage). I'd forgotten how much I love this one.
Last year I had a pretty good streak of wearing Weenie scents, and then in Novemberscruloose's breathing was a bit rough, and we didn't think it was the BPAL, but I didn't wear any through the Christmas season. (It turned out not to be what was causing the problem, which has been IDed and dealt with.) So maybe this year. (As always, the Weenie and Yule updates tempted me dreadfully, but the added horror of current crossborder shipping gave me extra armor against getting in on a decant circle.)
I'm finally listening to the new Florence + The Machine album; listening to new music takes even longer now than it used to, and I've never been quick about listening or bonding. Given the season, after this album I'll probably switch to Christmas music while working. As long as it's good (wholly subjective, obviously, along with if you're a Christmas person and if seasonal music doesn't hit all the wrong buttons in general), Christmas music is kind of ideal for when I'm trying to just get some work done--it doesn't require the attention that beloved favorite music or new-to-me music does, even if it's not a recording I'm familiar with. Handy!
(Yesterday I deployed some for the first time this year. I didn't know Carole King had a holiday album, although it's never a surprise when a western musician does. *eyes Tori Amos holiday album* [Which I do listen to.] And now I've heard it once and never need to hear it again.)
Also on the music front, I finally cut off my Spotify subscription, and I'm trying out Qobuz after waffling between it and Deezer. Neither of them has native Linux desktop support or a Roku app, either of which would've weighted my decision significantly, and Qobuz allows you to actually buy music--apparently DRM-free, no less!--so I'm starting here.
Package-delivery updates cover such a bizarre spectrum. I currently have in my inbox: a) an update from a courier saying they've got my package and will deliver it this afternoon, with no indication of the sender, and I do not have a ship notification from anywhere that makes it obvious, so...I guess we'll see soon, and b) a Canada Post "Ship Notification for Item" (not to be confused with a "your item is out for delivery" notification) that didn't arrive in my inbox until a couple of hours after the CP person had already theoretically been by and attempted delivery. (Canada Post folks are better than others about actually attempting delivery, so I have to assume I just didn't hear the doorbell somehow, but the email timing remains bizarre.)
scruloose had to be out a bit early all this week, so I've been getting up a bit earlier too to do my supervision part of the clowder's breakfast routine.) But I took the day off mainly to try to get some manga work done, so going back to bed after that seemed counterproductive. Somehow it's not even 10 AM yet? Incredible. (Could I have used the sleep, though? Oh yes.)Happy day-after-Thanksgiving to the USians* observing this emotionally-complex holiday. I enjoy the food chatter from afar. Someone on a cooking feed on Bluesky posted about doing a stuffing flight, and now I really want a stuffing flight, although the specific types they'd made didn't sing to me. ^^;
*I've been seeing the edges of Discourse about this term on Bluesky, and several people complained about the pronunciation/having no good pronunciation options, which made me realize that to me it's strictly a term for writing, not saying. It works fine visually. *shrugs*
First Yule scent of the year: But Men Loved Darkness Better Than Light (2009 vintage). I'd forgotten how much I love this one.
Last year I had a pretty good streak of wearing Weenie scents, and then in November
scruloose's breathing was a bit rough, and we didn't think it was the BPAL, but I didn't wear any through the Christmas season. (It turned out not to be what was causing the problem, which has been IDed and dealt with.) So maybe this year. (As always, the Weenie and Yule updates tempted me dreadfully, but the added horror of current crossborder shipping gave me extra armor against getting in on a decant circle.)I'm finally listening to the new Florence + The Machine album; listening to new music takes even longer now than it used to, and I've never been quick about listening or bonding. Given the season, after this album I'll probably switch to Christmas music while working. As long as it's good (wholly subjective, obviously, along with if you're a Christmas person and if seasonal music doesn't hit all the wrong buttons in general), Christmas music is kind of ideal for when I'm trying to just get some work done--it doesn't require the attention that beloved favorite music or new-to-me music does, even if it's not a recording I'm familiar with. Handy!
(Yesterday I deployed some for the first time this year. I didn't know Carole King had a holiday album, although it's never a surprise when a western musician does. *eyes Tori Amos holiday album* [Which I do listen to.] And now I've heard it once and never need to hear it again.)
Also on the music front, I finally cut off my Spotify subscription, and I'm trying out Qobuz after waffling between it and Deezer. Neither of them has native Linux desktop support or a Roku app, either of which would've weighted my decision significantly, and Qobuz allows you to actually buy music--apparently DRM-free, no less!--so I'm starting here.
Package-delivery updates cover such a bizarre spectrum. I currently have in my inbox: a) an update from a courier saying they've got my package and will deliver it this afternoon, with no indication of the sender, and I do not have a ship notification from anywhere that makes it obvious, so...I guess we'll see soon, and b) a Canada Post "Ship Notification for Item" (not to be confused with a "your item is out for delivery" notification) that didn't arrive in my inbox until a couple of hours after the CP person had already theoretically been by and attempted delivery. (Canada Post folks are better than others about actually attempting delivery, so I have to assume I just didn't hear the doorbell somehow, but the email timing remains bizarre.)
emotional support fiber
Nov. 28th, 2025 07:43 amyhlee
Maybe 2.5x the length of the futon! The weft is various handspun yarns. :3 It has hideous Baby's First Floor Loom Attempt nature but fortunately, both Joe and the catten are very forgiving. Now I get to rewarp the loom... /o\
Morning's handspun single. :3
The Friday Five for 28 November 2025
Nov. 28th, 2025 02:33 amanais_pf posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
thefridayfiveThese questions were originally suggested by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_heartless.
1. What were some of the smells and tastes of your childhood?
2. What did you have as a child that you do not think children today have?
3. What elementary grade was your favorite?
4. What summer do you remember the best as a child?
5. What one piece of advice would you give to your younger self, and at what age?
Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.
the_heartless.1. What were some of the smells and tastes of your childhood?
2. What did you have as a child that you do not think children today have?
3. What elementary grade was your favorite?
4. What summer do you remember the best as a child?
5. What one piece of advice would you give to your younger self, and at what age?
Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.
LJ Idol, Wheel of Chaos, 16a: Kako No Ashioto ("Footsteps of the Past")
Nov. 28th, 2025 01:08 amroina_arwenAuthor's Note: This is a Cento (a collage poem), which is a poetic form composed entirely of lines from poems by other poets. I only use one line per author and have given them credit at the bottom, in the order that their line appears here. The only change I make is to add or delete a punctuation mark at the end of a line where needed, to help my poem flow in the manner that I need it to. Enjoy!
Footsteps of the Past
I will not walk politely on the pavements anymore
always under one sky, our sky. And always one moon
So God stepped over to the edge of the world,
Darkened by shadows of earth, but reflecting an image of heaven
maybe there are angels here, too--
Carrying rainbows in our heads and
The flame of genius to the human breast.
The song that I came to sing remains unsung to this day.
Air and waters trying to heal all their lungs that bellowed
Because the shard of glass in the singer’s throat
pressed between Sky Woman and Mother Earth.
She believes in God, yes, but also in the mothers
For youth and happiness have followed age,
Through the lone night until the last snow-flake.
Their parting footsteps will return no more
From God’s dwelling on the mountain,
Where all the sacred truths lay deep imbedded,
Like the past you almost don't believe in.
And ever the moon wept down in rain,
Delivered out of raw continual pain,
When darkness is darkest, and sorrow most sorrow.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stanza One: June Jordan; Richard Blanco; James Weldon Johnson; Henry Wadsworth Longfellow; Ashley M. Jones; Mari Evans; and Mark Akenside.
Stanza Two: Rabindranath Tagore; Crisosto Apache; Kendra DeColo; Laura Tohe; Ilya Kaminsky; Emma Lazarus; and Claude McKay.
Stanza Three: Francisco Acuña de Figueroa; Fenton Johnson; George Reginald Margetson; Alfred Corn; Paul Laurence Dunbar; Denise Levertov; and Alice Cary.
Footsteps of the Past
I will not walk politely on the pavements anymore
always under one sky, our sky. And always one moon
So God stepped over to the edge of the world,
Darkened by shadows of earth, but reflecting an image of heaven
maybe there are angels here, too--
Carrying rainbows in our heads and
The flame of genius to the human breast.
The song that I came to sing remains unsung to this day.
Air and waters trying to heal all their lungs that bellowed
Because the shard of glass in the singer’s throat
pressed between Sky Woman and Mother Earth.
She believes in God, yes, but also in the mothers
For youth and happiness have followed age,
Through the lone night until the last snow-flake.
Their parting footsteps will return no more
From God’s dwelling on the mountain,
Where all the sacred truths lay deep imbedded,
Like the past you almost don't believe in.
And ever the moon wept down in rain,
Delivered out of raw continual pain,
When darkness is darkest, and sorrow most sorrow.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stanza One: June Jordan; Richard Blanco; James Weldon Johnson; Henry Wadsworth Longfellow; Ashley M. Jones; Mari Evans; and Mark Akenside.
Stanza Two: Rabindranath Tagore; Crisosto Apache; Kendra DeColo; Laura Tohe; Ilya Kaminsky; Emma Lazarus; and Claude McKay.
Stanza Three: Francisco Acuña de Figueroa; Fenton Johnson; George Reginald Margetson; Alfred Corn; Paul Laurence Dunbar; Denise Levertov; and Alice Cary.
I'd marry her this minute if she only would agree
Nov. 27th, 2025 10:48 pmsovayI had a small but very successful Thanksgiving with my parents, with both of my husbands, and with nineweaving. I have been supplied with all the ingredients for a turkey terrific and a whole lot of apple crumble that doesn't need to be reconstructed into anything except me. My mother taped the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I leaned back into rushthatspeaks while we talked books and movies and theatrical stories. The photo was taken by spatch for selkie in condolence for the stressors of her holiday for which she was not the responsible party. The Sallust is from 1886, but I work with what I've got.
nineweaving. I have been supplied with all the ingredients for a turkey terrific and a whole lot of apple crumble that doesn't need to be reconstructed into anything except me. My mother taped the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I leaned back into rushthatspeaks while we talked books and movies and theatrical stories. The photo was taken by spatch for selkie in condolence for the stressors of her holiday for which she was not the responsible party. The Sallust is from 1886, but I work with what I've got.
Fic: Final chapter of Reverie
Nov. 27th, 2025 07:33 pmgwynI made it! I don't know how I did considering the amazing disaster that my life has been this year (I keep tempting fate by thinking things can't get worse and then they do!), especially the past couple months. (Perfect example was yesterday, where I was sweating like a pig from putting up some decorations and wiped out from fatigue and also couldn't get my new replacement laptop to work and so I was sitting there sweating and crying from frustration. My life, man. Sweating and crying. What.)
Anyways, I finally finished the WIP I started five freaking years ago, posting as a WIP because in the past, that kept me on track and I was worried about finishing so I wouldn't let things slide. And then I did anyways! But it is now done, and just in time for my annual birthday fic posting. I don't imagine anyone reading this at this point, but in case one person does, well, here you go.
Reverie (58115 words) by gwyneth rhys
Chapters: 10/10
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Shuri
Characters: Steve Rogers, Shuri (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, T'Challa (Marvel), Ramonda (Marvel), Ayo (Marvel), Nakia (Black Panther), Okoye (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Virtual Reality, Dreamscapes, Dreamsharing, of sorts if you squint hard, Wakandan Technology, Wakanda (Marvel), Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Black Panther (2018), Friendship, Family, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Protective Steve Rogers, Action/Adventure
Summary:
Anyways, I finally finished the WIP I started five freaking years ago, posting as a WIP because in the past, that kept me on track and I was worried about finishing so I wouldn't let things slide. And then I did anyways! But it is now done, and just in time for my annual birthday fic posting. I don't imagine anyone reading this at this point, but in case one person does, well, here you go.
Reverie (58115 words) by gwyneth rhys
Chapters: 10/10
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Shuri
Characters: Steve Rogers, Shuri (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, T'Challa (Marvel), Ramonda (Marvel), Ayo (Marvel), Nakia (Black Panther), Okoye (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Virtual Reality, Dreamscapes, Dreamsharing, of sorts if you squint hard, Wakandan Technology, Wakanda (Marvel), Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Black Panther (2018), Friendship, Family, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Protective Steve Rogers, Action/Adventure
Summary:
“Exitus!” Steve shouted, slamming his hand against the door where the mandala should have been, and suddenly he was on the chair in his room, gasping. In this world.
Steve lowered the glass to his lap and looked up at Shuri. His heart was beating way too hard and fast. “You were right,” he said, sitting up. “He’s glitching. I don’t know if I can get him out.”
Welp!
Nov. 27th, 2025 08:47 pmjulianThis is a Long Post because I have Thoughts, but the short version is, "Hey, my mom had a stroke, and isn't just sedated to the gills! Though she is that, too."
Less telegraphic version: My mom (who just turned 86!) has progressed, in her dementia, from anxious and logical to anxious and tangential, in both technical and non-technical senses. That is to say, to people who don't know her, it seems as if she says basically random stuff, whereas to people who know her, it's clear she's saying stuff that has connections in her brain but she doesn't seem to recognize that she needs to provide the connective tissue to make it explicable to people outside herself.
Mostly, up until now, if she's not tired, she's quite audible and quite understandable. When tired, she gets a little blurry, but not *very*. (Also, and this is irrelevant except for med issues, she gets delusions. All of which are quite harmless, so far, and seem to mostly involve expecting visitors for dinner and the like. My dad says there's like, consistent expectations/background to this, and things.)
She and my dad are both very wary of assisted living and don't want anything to do with it, in part because of a friend of theirs who they felt had basically been stuck into a facility by her daughter. (Mind you, this friend had dementia and kept falling down, so, warranted.)
My mom's also wandering, or, rather, taking walks and then getting lost in her own neighborhood, which isn't *quite* the same thing, but kind of similar. One can ask why my dad lets her do that, to which the answer is, he sometimes needs to pay a bill or something and she gets impatient. She otherwise seems to not have many interests -- she's not reading much (or, I suppose, able to read), she's not watching movies, she's not... doing things. Other than taking walks.
So the point is, yesterday, she was taking her third walk of the day, alone, and someone called 911 because she was apparently walking in the middle of High St, aka, a very busy street with a *lot* of rush hour traffic. (When I heard this I had an actual chill run down my actual spine. Things that happen in real life! Who knew!) A police officer stopped by, and she was apparently combative and/or belligerent, so he brought her to the hospital. (The same one I volunteered at when I was a teenager, let us timewarp now.) It seemed odd to me that since she was *registered* as a wanderer, he'd take her to the hospital rather than home, but there's a few possibilities, some of which are stroke-related, some of which are dementia-related.
( More details about various visits. )
Anyway, so, clearly, what we need to do is get her into a rehab facility and get the support system set up for getting her back home, hopefully. We've got a "light housekeeping" person coming in starting about a week from now, and I can call some nursing folks her doctor recommended, so, we have Planz.
In more emotional aspects of stuff, this now starts another kind of slippery slope toward possibilities like pneumonia and other things. And I don't want my mom to *die*, but on the other hand she's been telling my dad she's unhappy and doesn't want to exist anymore (though doesn't have any kind of inclination to kill herself), so I mean. If this starts that faster downhill slope, I'll be *sad*, but I'm not going to cling if she's wanting to slowly go that direction. Just. I'll be sad. I *am* sad. Sadness is.
Less telegraphic version: My mom (who just turned 86!) has progressed, in her dementia, from anxious and logical to anxious and tangential, in both technical and non-technical senses. That is to say, to people who don't know her, it seems as if she says basically random stuff, whereas to people who know her, it's clear she's saying stuff that has connections in her brain but she doesn't seem to recognize that she needs to provide the connective tissue to make it explicable to people outside herself.
Mostly, up until now, if she's not tired, she's quite audible and quite understandable. When tired, she gets a little blurry, but not *very*. (Also, and this is irrelevant except for med issues, she gets delusions. All of which are quite harmless, so far, and seem to mostly involve expecting visitors for dinner and the like. My dad says there's like, consistent expectations/background to this, and things.)
She and my dad are both very wary of assisted living and don't want anything to do with it, in part because of a friend of theirs who they felt had basically been stuck into a facility by her daughter. (Mind you, this friend had dementia and kept falling down, so, warranted.)
My mom's also wandering, or, rather, taking walks and then getting lost in her own neighborhood, which isn't *quite* the same thing, but kind of similar. One can ask why my dad lets her do that, to which the answer is, he sometimes needs to pay a bill or something and she gets impatient. She otherwise seems to not have many interests -- she's not reading much (or, I suppose, able to read), she's not watching movies, she's not... doing things. Other than taking walks.
So the point is, yesterday, she was taking her third walk of the day, alone, and someone called 911 because she was apparently walking in the middle of High St, aka, a very busy street with a *lot* of rush hour traffic. (When I heard this I had an actual chill run down my actual spine. Things that happen in real life! Who knew!) A police officer stopped by, and she was apparently combative and/or belligerent, so he brought her to the hospital. (The same one I volunteered at when I was a teenager, let us timewarp now.) It seemed odd to me that since she was *registered* as a wanderer, he'd take her to the hospital rather than home, but there's a few possibilities, some of which are stroke-related, some of which are dementia-related.
( More details about various visits. )
Anyway, so, clearly, what we need to do is get her into a rehab facility and get the support system set up for getting her back home, hopefully. We've got a "light housekeeping" person coming in starting about a week from now, and I can call some nursing folks her doctor recommended, so, we have Planz.
In more emotional aspects of stuff, this now starts another kind of slippery slope toward possibilities like pneumonia and other things. And I don't want my mom to *die*, but on the other hand she's been telling my dad she's unhappy and doesn't want to exist anymore (though doesn't have any kind of inclination to kill herself), so I mean. If this starts that faster downhill slope, I'll be *sad*, but I'm not going to cling if she's wanting to slowly go that direction. Just. I'll be sad. I *am* sad. Sadness is.