ysobel: (fail)
masquerading as a man with a reason ([personal profile] ysobel) wrote2025-08-23 10:48 pm
Entry tags:

Aten't ded yet

Things what have been happening:

A. My mom is an epic stress demon -- this deserves its own post but teal dear (or I guess TL;DW since it's not written up yet) early stages of dementia plus physical complications plus denial plus verbal aggression ... on top of the normal "treating me like I'm a teenager" and "calling multiple times a day" -- and I'm kind of boiling alive because stress and uncertainty

B. Speaking of boiling, today was the third day over 100F. Even with air conditioning and fans and cooling towels, it's way too hot

C. I have no sense of time any more. Everything is somehow too fast and too slow.

D. My brain is perpetually convinced I'm forgetting shit. Occasionally I actually am. But I'm basically living in perpetual anxiety.

E. Also I'm training new aides, which always sucks even when they're good

F. Phoebe is still cute af. So is Loki. The two of them are the only things keeping me halfway sane. If I can remember tomorrow I'll upload pictures.
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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-23 10:54 pm
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facts of the day, courtesy of current book

Koalas have fingerprints; hairy-nose wombats do not.

Skin on fingers and toes wrinkle in water not because cells get saturated but as an autonomic nervous system function, which we have apparently known since at least 1935. An initial 2013 study found that people with wrinkled fingertips could pick up and move more wet marbles in a set time frame than people with dry skin; a 2014 study failed to replicate this, but there's more at the BBC including a 2020 replication. (The 2013 reference at least is buried in the BBC article.)

Holding a hot drink inclines us to view people as "emotionally warmer"; a heavier clipboard inclines us to believe the person whose CV it's displaying takes their work more seriously. Many other related fun facts over here.

(Book of the moment: Touch, David J. Linden.)

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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-22 10:59 pm

[food] misc veg salad

The nature of veg box is that Vegetables for which I have no Plan... accumulate. Today's dinner took a bunch of said accumulated veg and made them salad-shaped, and it worked out well enough that I want a record as a reminder for future self that one can just Do This.

Read more... )

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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-21 11:42 pm

BL trip a success

In brief: book is the least I've been annoyed by any such book I have yet read, which is fairly impressive going, especially since the copy in the BL's collection is the first edition originally published in 2003 rather than the second edition updated in 2013; more notes possibly to follow (subject to reaching a decision about whether I want to hold out for getting my hands on a copy of the second edition before talking about it in public).

Entertainment: shortly after I finally settled myself down in my nice corner desk against a window with my back to the wall and a whole enclosed-in-glass booth between me and Any Other Readers... my watch buzzed to let me know that I'd just finished a Period Of High Stress. The high stress was, obviously, sitting quietly wedged into a corner on public transport while reading a relaxing book. I did know public transport was exhausting! I have been saying! I'm still kind of impressed at the watch Earnestly Informing Me, In Case I Didn't? Know? and mildly regretting that I'm planning to do the same-ish again tomorrow, and also also I am reassessing A Lot of my wheelchair use in light of this...

Related entertainment: how much my hypervigilance kicked up when I returned from lunch to discover that neatly leaving my notebook and reading-book in a stack on my desk had not had sufficient inhibitory effect, and a Noisy Person had decided to sit diagonally across from me, in my Space, being Noisy. The amount I relaxed when they (temporarily) fucked off is another one for the "yep I can see how not leaving the house for over a year and then staying Hyper Local has added up to me looking much more functional" files...

azurelunatic: stick figure about to hit potato w/ flaming tennis racket, near jug of gasoline & sack of potatoes (bad idea)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 ([personal profile] azurelunatic) wrote2025-08-21 08:28 am

Michigan, again

Visiting the out-laws with Belovedest. Last night we had dinner out at the Dirty Bird (chicken bar & grill) so this morning's breakfast is leftovers. Which I had in bed, due to the scarcity of tables in the hotel room, and my general unwillingness to get out of bed before nine.

Unfortunately, breakfast was crispy chicken Caesar salad, with buffalo sauce on the side. And after I finished that, I was dipping baby carrots in the sauce. And there was a spill.
I can't seem to face up to the facts
I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax
I can't sleep, 'cause my bed's on fire
Don't touch me, I'm a real live wire
Spicy pillow, qu'est-ce que c'est?
Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa, far better
Run-run, run-run-run away
Oh-oh-oh
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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-20 10:54 pm

[migraine] peripheral vision nonsense

The thing about buying new glasses, right, is that I've been feeling avoidant about it in part because I think I was slightly migrainey the day I had the most recent test done and I was already pretty sure that my vision goes... wrong... when migrainey -- most noticeable when moving, but always... there.

Slightly more specifically: it's neither scintillating scotoma nor loss-of-whole-field-of-vision nor any of the other very classic visual auras; instead it's a sense that I'm not managing to track movement properly along the lower edge and especially the lower corners of my field of vision.

... which matches up really well, actually, with the peripheral vision deficiencies that, er, showed up during my last eye test.

I've been noticing the Weirdness on-and-off for quite some time now, and was dithering back and forth about whether it was just confirmation bias in that I was only noticing it when otherwise migrainey -- but then on Monday, while on my way to my GP surgery to pick up some paperwork, it resulted in the railings I was going past (and that I go past regularly!) causing an extremely pronounced and unmistakeable strobing effect. I am very confident that that is not something I would somehow manage to confirmation bias myself out of noticing most of the time, so, hurrah, Definitely A Migraine Symptom (for lo, on Monday I was migrainey) it is.

The thing that is mildly baffling me is that I can't actually find (admittedly on a fairly cursory search) any description of specifically peripheral vision fuckery as a migraine thing! Lots of mentions of tunnel vision, lots of mentions of classic aura, and one case study in which "peripheral vision" is used metaphorically. So, you know, let the record show, &c.

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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-19 10:52 pm

victory of the day is GLASSES

Ordered, at least, to pick up next week.

Indulgence is a writing slope off eBay with a lucky dip of writing utensils, one of which I am very cheerful about...

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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-17 11:02 pm
Entry tags:

vital functions

Reading. Allie Brosh, Stuart Adlington, Liam D'Arcy + Grace Hall, Rosie Reynolds, Helena Attlee, Jeannie Di Bon, Mary Jane Paterson + Jo Thompson, Raymond Blanc )

Cooking. One more thing from East (kimchi pancakes, mildly disappointing) plus a gooseberry oat crisp I have been meaning to get to since I started picking the pink gooseberries [mumble] ago.

Eating. Ruby Violet (hazelnut + hazelnut brittle, blueberry + lemon curd). buns from home (cardamom, cinnamon, garlic + rosemary focaccia).

My first granadilla, courtesy of a whim in a supermarket!

Allotment apples and tomatoes.

Exploring. Spent a chunk of Monday afternoon poking around the Camley Street Natural Park!

Growing. There are TOMATOES. There are BEANS. I harvested some PEPPERS. I'm still not doing great at, like, efficiency or yield, but hey, I'm eating some things from the plot, which is better than none.

alias_sqbr: Me on a couch asleep with a cat sitting on my lap top, with the caption out of spoons error (spoons)
alias_sqbr ([personal profile] alias_sqbr) wrote2025-08-17 02:08 pm
Entry tags:

So I broke my toe

It's all dealt with now, I am just keeping off my feet even more than usual while it heals, but thought I should let people know!

Details and some stuff about life in general under the cut, including mention of my colonoscopy (two unrelated minor surgeries in a month is TWO TOO MANY) and mention of blood/needles etc.

So above the cut I'll say: If you ever need to keep a bandaged toe dry in the shower, put a stretchy glove over it! Works like a charm!
Read more... )
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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-16 11:14 pm
Entry tags:

[books, embodiment] further grousing

Just, you know, For My Own Reference: a list of the exercises included in Hypermobility Without Tears. I am going to come back through and add links to Pilates and physio explainers for all of these.

Read more... )

azurelunatic: "beautiful addiction", electron microscope photo of caffeine (caffeine)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 ([personal profile] azurelunatic) wrote2025-08-16 01:12 pm

Extreme amounts of "fun"

Thursday's appointment was one that I knew was going to stir up trauma. The doctor ended up listing that aspect of it as PTSD, which I guess is fair. I always have thought of it as "trauma" rather than PTSD, which is kind of odd in retrospect.

I wound up taking a small dose of my "street cred" when I realized I was starting to have a trauma response. That turned out to be a good idea. There's a follow up in a few months, and I should pre-medicate for it.

Afterwards I got the 32 oz reverse mocha from a local coffee shack. (Not one of the bikini coffee shacks.) With chocolate whipped cream, thank you very much. My first time encountering white coffee espresso in a drink. Interesting and almost floral. I had Belovedest (a bitter supertaster) try it. Still coffee tasting, but not as strongly.

Although that's also possibly due to me only having 3 shots of espresso in the drink instead of the usual 6.

I would much rather discuss the coffee than the source of the trauma and the appointment, in any event.
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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-15 11:09 pm
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[books, embodiment] Hypermobility Without Tears, Jeannie Di Bon

Jeannie Di Bon is a "Movement Therapist" who "specialis[es] in Hypermobility, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Chronic Pain." In the introduction, she talks about her own experiences in a way I find very sympathetic:

I've lost count of the number of times a doctor has told me it's all down to IBS and instructed me to eat more fibre and try Pilates or yoga to relax. Dismissive in its nature and kind of ironic now, as I trained to become a Pilates teacher in 2008.

And, you know, the actual core (yes I did that) of her Integrated Movement Method is sound: she's giving advice about fostering body awareness, of when and where you're tense and when you're not, working through a pretty standard sequence of breathing exercises and gentle movements. All the exercises in this book are the kind of thing that show up pretty early on in any full-body physiotherapy programme, that have loads of progressions available (particularly within the Pilates model), and they're absolutely fine and probably useful to folk who've not been able to access care covering this kind of topic.

If it were just the exercise programme, it would be ... fine. More or less. I think a bunch of the ways she explains movements are unclear and counterintuitive, but hey, presumably they work for at least some people.

Unfortunately, there are all of the bits in between.

Chapter 4 is where they went from "okay, you're simplifying to the point of lies-to-children but you are also explaining why" to "... either you're deliberately misrepresenting things for personal gain or you're wildly incompetent", and I'm still not sure which of those it actually is. (I am trying not to think too hard about the possibility that the answer is "both".)

Read more... )

tl;dr there is nothing you will get from the Integral Movement Method that you won't get from competently-taught or -explained Pilates except scaremongering and misdirection... and unlike IMM, you can get decent Pilates resources for free. Don't bother with this one.

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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-14 10:53 pm

okay, this is an anti-rec for Jeannie Di Bon

I am now well over halfway through the book, and spent most of chapter four screeching to anyone who would listen about the extent to which either she is deliberately and cynically misrepresenting approaches that aren't Her Personal Programme in the interests of selling the latter, or she's just incompetent.

The actual suggested movements -- the strength-building and the stretching -- are totally reasonable, and also totally standard. It's the surrounding framing that has my eyebrows crawling into my hairline; I... tried to summarise and rapidly discovered I was launching into the full rant, and it's past bedtime, so let's start with: while there's a References section it's a whole 15 items long, and she's blithely saying "X states" or "Y says" as though the fact that something has been published in a single peer-reviewed paper means that it's unquestionably true, and of those fifteen one is a systematic review of any kind and... Several... are under the aegis of an organisation specialising in complementary medicine.

More details tomorrow, probably. With excerpts.

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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-13 10:40 pm

finally it is tomato o'clock

a tomato with a dark purple upper and red lower, speckled with gold

(This cultivar is called Blue Fire. I was very late getting my tomatoes started, but I am about to have lots of them and I am excited by this! Rainbow planting didn't quite work partly because none of the Yellow Pear-Shaped made it but largely because I lost track of which were my purple plum tomatoes and which were instead my orange, but -- I'm about to have A Bunch of ridiculous coloured tomatoes, and this is probably the showiest of the lot of 'em!)

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alias_sqbr ([personal profile] alias_sqbr) wrote2025-08-13 02:56 pm
Entry tags:

Song Title Username Meme

[personal profile] anghraine tagged me in a tumblr meme to make your username with songs, my reaction was "Hah, only four letters, that'll be- WAIT do I like ANY songs with Q in the title??" but a quick search found One, and I built the rest of the list around it to consist of songs on my computer which (a) I like at least a moderate amount and (b) make a funny sentence. Thus:

Song For The Dumped (Ben Folds Five)
Queer (Garbage)
Being Boring (Petshop Boys)
Right Here Right Now (Moby)

Runner up:
Speed Kills (Bush)
Queer (Garbage)
Bachelorette (Bjork)
Running Up That Hill (Kate Bush)

Since I haven't gotten around to downloading and rating as many recent songs the selection leaned towards older stuff, but I did happen to buy "Stay The Fuck Away From Me" by Emily Wurramura today and I am sure something fun could be done with that too.

And I am going to tag anyone else with a short username to see if they can come up with something fun :) (People with long usernames can play too if they like a challenge)
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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-12 10:05 pm
Entry tags:

etymology of the day

Arancini. The small balls of risotto coated in breadcrumbs and then deep fried.

*Little oranges*.

This is not in any way an obscure or difficult to look up etymology, and yet somehow it was not until yesterday, on the tube, that I suddenly needed to look up from the book I was reading and *stare*.

(Earlier this week -- no, wait, late last week -- I was indexing a cookbook that included arancini. This week I am reading *The Land Where Lemons Grow*, because it's mostly a history of citrus cultivation in Italy with occasional recipes, so I wanted to read it Properly before indexing it and getting rid of it again. Apparently what it took for me to Have A Realisation was the combination in temporal proximity...)
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Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 ([personal profile] azurelunatic) wrote2025-08-12 02:36 am

Appointment Week

I have:

* 3 appointments tomorrow, all remote (for later today versions of "tomorrow", because I rarely get to sleep before midnight)
* 2 appointments Wednesday
* Only one appointment Thursday, but it looks like a doozy
* The morning primary care adjacent appointment on Wednesday got scheduled today (Monday) by using the magic combination of phrases "my oncologist said" and "new lump"
* (it's probably a ganglion cyst, since I have a history of those going back to the 1980s)

And then I managed to drive myself to Pained Noises & a complete lack of energy today by:
* Read more... )
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Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 ([personal profile] azurelunatic) wrote2025-08-10 07:44 pm

....!!!

https://comicbook.com/anime/news/homestuck-animated-series-hazbin-hotel-creators/

From the little I've absorbed about Hazbin Hotel, the creators might just be the correct kind of disturbed to do justice to Homestuck.
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kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-08-10 10:43 pm

vital functions

Reading. Allie Brosh, Jeannie Di Bon, Helena Attlee, Louis MacNeice, friends misc. )

... and several of the magazines that have been sat around causing Guilt and a sense of Obligation, subsequent to which I have happily recycled them. Favourite fact from the three so far: Garden Organic/the Heritage Seed Library are trialling using tuning forks to pollinate their tomato crops! ( Facebook | Instagram )

Bonus: sifting through a pile of notebooks etc to try to work out who the hell they belong to, mostly salvaged from the pile that was due to go out to event-freecycle on the basis that SURELY I could do something useful with them if, you know, I sat down with them at a time that wasn't in a field under Significant time pressure while Very tired. And I could! One and a half remain unidentified (I say "half" because We're Working On It).

Writing. A lot of lost property e-mails.

Cooking. One new recipe from East: paneer, spinach and tomato salad, accompanied by the herbed naan from the Leiths How to Cook Bread book (this is probably on my To Cook Through list). I was into this!

Also vaghareli makai ("spiced Indian corn") by way of David Lebovitz, and a slightly underwhelming lemony fennel and broccoli pasta (significantly improved by the addition of pine nuts).

Eating. STRAWBERRIES. Blackberries. Local plums are starting to be ripe!

Exploring. Poked around the green belt a bit to see how the plums were doing! And I think that's most of it?

A very brief poke around the entrance to the Pimp Hall Nature Reserve following a successful drop-off of Objects to the adjacent Household Waste Recycling Centre; tragically the signs on the gates claimed that they'd be locked at 4 p.m., which we had not quite anticipated, and we only reached them at 3.58. Next time, perhaps!

Creating. Hmm. Does sitting around knolling for the purposes of the big lost property post count? I think it probably does; certainly while the photos still aren't good (am I contemplating a lightbox and a tripod of some kind of this specific terrible hobby? to my slight horror, I kind of am...) the arrangements are getting much easier to parse visually, I discovered upon going back through a bunch of them, which I am pleased about.

Growing. Found a surprise pocketful of dried Sugar Magnolia pods, so I am definitely in the black when it comes to number of seeds for next year, which is a pleasant surprise!